The curious aversion which it conceived for my moustache threatened to hold up the entire Frontier Force for the rest of the day, for it would neither be led nor driven. Fortunately, however, we had a very black Soudanese camel-driver with us as guide, and he came and spat at it, which soothed it considerably, and it followed him like a lamb. We got it back to camp next day and it is tied up near my tent. It has apparently made up its mind to waive the moustache question, and we now spit at one another in the friendliest fashion whenever I pass. I hope in time to train it to bring up my bath water in the morning from the three palm-trees. _Later._--The camel was the last episode of the campaign, and we returned to ---- yesterday. The total bag of a four days' expedition was--sheep, 8; shepherds, 2; camel, 1. The human section was subsequently released on the grounds that their political views were satisfactory. * * * * * [Illustration: A well-known octopus family, having heard of the undersea photography, decides to pose.] * * * * * ON THE MENACE OF HOME-BAKERY. ["Women _can_ bake bread if they will. It is much easier than trimming hats."--_"Housewife," in "The Daily News."_] Aminta, be not led away By words that sanguine women say; Though simpler be the baking bread Than trimming gear for your fair head, Let your concern remain, I ask, The sterner and the nobler task. The nobler task: I'll tell you why. Shall Bloggs, our baker, wilt and die For loss of trade, his brood of eight Left destitute and desolate? And must _I_ perish 'neath the stress Of culinary frightfulness? No, dear. The millinery art Is where I'd have you play your part; For, though your hats may work intense Despite on my aesthetic sense, Whatever pain their crudeness brings At least I needn't eat the things. * * * * * COMMERCIAL CANDOUR. "You never know your luck when you get our FRUIT."--_Advt. in Irish Paper._ * * * * * "_Mr. Hayes._ Certainty is defined in Webster as the maximum of our expectations. (Loud laughter.) _The Judge_ (_laughing_). Let us get on. This is more like _Punch_ than anything else. (Laughter.)"--_Pall Mall Gazette._ It will now have to be called the Supreme Court of Punch and Judicature. * * * * * [Illustration: _Dear Old Lady._ "It must be a great strain for the man up the periscope." _Nephew._ "Yes, he has a thin time."] * * * * * PULP FAMINE NOTICES. (_A Hint to Reviewers._) A WRITER in a recent issue of _The Daily Chronicle_ prefaces a column of novel notices with the following remarks: "The smaller papers consequent upon the famine in 'pulp' have made the reviewing of the new novels rather a job, but at least it is possible to give news of them."