The Recorder of Pontefract states that in a recent walk he followed for three miles three men who were smoking, and counted sixty-two matches struck by them. It is reported that the gentlemen concerned have since called upon the Recorder to explain that it was in a spirit of war economy that they had dispensed with the services of the torch-bearer who had hitherto attended their movements. *** There will be no Bakers' Exhibition this year, it is announced. Many _chic_ models however, both in _gateaux_ and the new open-work _confiserie_, will be privately exhibited. *** A contributor to _The Observer_ draws our attention to the phenomenally early return of the swifts. But after all there must be something particularly soothing about England these days to a neurotic fowl like a swift. *** It is rumoured that Mr. BIRRELL has lately thrown off one of his _obiter dicta_--to the effect that Mr. Asquith and his colleagues have expressed an ambition to go down in the pages of history as the "Ministry of All the Buried Talents." *** It was a confirmed dyspeptic of our acquaintance who, on reading that in Paris they are serving a half-mourning salad consisting mainly of sliced potatoes, artichokes and pickled walnuts, expressed surprise at their failure to add a few radishes to the dish, so that they might be thoroughly miserable while they were about it. *** According to a contemporary, Mr. H. B. IRVING'S _Cassius_ "came very near to Shakespeare." A delightful change from the innumerable Cassii that are modelled, for instance, on Mr. W. W. JACOBS. *** Sir THOMAS LIPTON'S yacht, the _Erin_, has been sunk in the Mediterranean, and no doubt the Germans think they have done something to go bragh about. *** Italians are being invited by means of circulars dropped from balloons to desert to the Austrians, the sum of 5s. 8d. being offered to each deserter. This is no doubt what is technically known as a _ballon d'essai_. *** The House of Commons is giving serious consideration to the Daylight Saving Scheme. But certain occupants of the Treasury Bench (we are careful not to "refer to" them as members of the Cabinet) are said to be withholding their support till they know what it is that the surplus daylight is to be let into. * * * * * PAY PARADE. [Illustration: _Officer._ "Have you made an allotment?" _Recruit._ "Oh, no, Sir! I give up me fowls and cabbages the day afore I joined the army."] * * * * * "London, April 6.--A Zeppelin airship attacked the north-east coast of England on Wednesday afternoon, but was driven off by our anti-Haircraft defences." _Daily Chronicle (Jamaica)._ This subtle allusion to the former occupation of the Zeppelin crew has, we believe, caused much anxiety among the ex-barbers in the German Service, who fear that the A.A.C. will go for them bald-headed.