Fortunately it cannot be said that your Majesty is involved in this lack of the success we all hoped for. Though you are nominally the chief Commander of our Armies it is known that in the actual operations your Majesty has played the modest part of an onlooker rather than a director. Formerly, that is before the breaking out of the War, you were a great planner of plans, and it was understood that, in case of war, you would lead your armies in the field and prove that a Hohenzollern can do anything. But now you have recognised your limitations, and no Emperor can well do more than that. You do not now thrust your advice upon your generals, whatever you may have done at the outset of the War, and, though you may once have dreamed of leading your hosts in a thundering charge upon the foe, you have long since abandoned such visions and have begun to realise that an Emperor is but a man and cannot know everything. This, at least, is my conviction, and I testify it to your Majesty with all the bluntness that befits a soldier who has been honoured by his Sovereign with a high command. Most dutifully yours, VON FALKENHAYN. * * * * * Good Hunting. "The jungle sale held in Warrenpoint in aid of the Warrenpoint District Nursing Association realised the sum of L40. 3s." _Northern Whig._ * * * * * "Young couple furnishing wishes to buy contents of 3 rooms, including piano, or part of same."--_Edinburgh Evening News._ Their future neighbours are hoping that they will get one without a keyboard. * * * * * "There is scarcely a family who have not someone near and dear to them in the fighting line, and by substituting the task of knitting for that of sewing, the well-known lines of Ibid are particularly appropriate:-- 'My tears must stop, for every drop Hinders needle and thread.'" _York Herald._ _Ibid_, who is a close connection of that other voluminous author, _Anon_, seems on this occasion to have plagiarized from HOOD. * * * * * [Illustration: Court Official. "I VENTURE TO REMIND THE ALL-HIGHEST THAT WE ARE APPROACHING THE ANNIVERSARY OF THE SINKING OF THE _LUSITANIA_. IS IT YOUR MAJESTY'S PLEASURE THAT THE CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER PUBLIC HOLIDAY TO CELEBRATE THAT GLORIOUS EVENT?" Kaiser. "GO AWAY! I AM ENGAGED ON SOME VERY DELICATE CORRESPONDENCE."] * * * * * [Illustration: _First Traveller._ "This 'ere's a terrible war, Bill." Second ditto. "Yus. What's the price o' beer now?"] * * * * * ON THE SPY TRAIL. Jimmy's bloodhound, Faithful, had his fortune told the other day--really, I mean; not what the man next door says when Faithful keeps on singing to his cat at night from the bottom of an apple-tree.