At the ample shrine of pleasure You have worshipped well and long On this day of so-called leisure, Yet you feel there's something wrong. _Blase_ is your air and jaded; Sabbath hours have lost their zest; Utter ennui has invaded Every corner of your chest. Sport is shorn of all its glamour; Motoring proves no more a lure; So you come to me and clamour For a speedy psychic cure. Well, my friend, if fresh sensation Is the object of your search, And you want a consultation, My advice is, Go to church. * * * * * BOLSHEVISM IN THE CIVIL SERVICE. "Whitley Councils are the latest development in Government offices in Whitehall. What is aimed at is a system of promotion free and uninterrupted from top to bottom." * * * * * [Illustration: THE HEIR PRESUMPTIVE. _Labour._ "PERHAPS IT'S A SIZE TOO BIG FOR ME AT PRESENT." _Coalition._ "GLAD YOU FEEL LIKE THAT, AS I HAVEN'T QUITE FINISHED WITH IT."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Soulful Party._ "AH, YES, THE WORLD IS ALWAYS SO--WE NEVER STREW FLOWERS ON A MAN'S GRAVE UNTIL AFTER HE IS DEAD."] * * * * * THE CANDOUR OF KEYNES. (_Suggested by the perusal of "The Economic Consequences of the Peace."_) There was a superior young person named KEYNES Who possessed an extensive equipment of brains, And, being elected a Fellow of King's, He taught Economics and similar things. On the outbreak of war he at once made his mark As a "tempy," but Principal, Treasury Clerk, And the Permanent Staff and the CHANCELLOR too Pronounced him a flier and well worth his screw. So he went to the Conference, not as a mute, To act as the CHANCELLOR'S chief substitute, And in this extremely responsible post He mingled with those who were ruling the roast. The Big and redoubtable Three, 'tis confessed, By his talent and zeal were immensely impressed; But, conversely, the fact, which is painful, remains That they failed to impress the redoubtable KEYNES. So, after five months of progressive disgust, He shook from his feet the Parisian dust, Determined to give the chief Delegates beans And let the plain person behind the Peace scenes. Though his title is stodgy, yet all must admit That his pages are seasoned with plenty of wit; He's alert as a cat-fish; he can't be ignored; And throughout his recital we never are bored. For he's not a mere slinger of partisan ink, But a thinker who gives us profoundly to think; And his arguments cannot be lightly dismissed With cries of "Pro-Hun" or of "Pacificist." And yet there are faults to be found all the same; For example, I doubt if it's playing the game For one who is hardly unmuzzled to guy Representative statesmen who cannot reply.