"Well, if I must tell the truth," said John, "it isn't quite so bad as I expected. In fact I very much doubt whether he wrote it at all. If he did--well, it's a marvellous fluke, that's all." I smiled. "You may smile, swelled-head," said John; "but I'll bet you five golden guineas to a bad tanner you couldn't do it again." "Done," I said. After a few days, however, I realised that I had made a mistake. Even a bad sixpence is worth something nowadays. Cecilia and Margery vied with each other in offering me the feeblest suggestions for articles that they felt sure would reduce a rhinoceros to hysterics. John presented me with a copy of _A Thousand and One Jokes and Anecdotes_ "to prove he was a sportsman," he said. I started to look for a bad sixpence. Then Margery said to me:-- "Why don't you write and explain the whole thing to the Editor and offer to go halves if he prints it?" I looked at her in amazement. "You horrible little cheat!" I said. * * * * * However, on thinking it over carefully there seems a lot to say for the idea and it's really quite fair. Anyhow I can't possibly let John win. So here's the story, and with any luck it will cost John five golden guineas. But I shan't give the Editor half. * * * * * [Illustration: _Little Girl (rather sceptical about what she regards as her new toy)._ "PUT HIM ON THE FLOOR, MUMMY, AND SEE IF HE'LL GO."] * * * * * THE PERILS OF HUMOUR. From _Punch_:-- "'THE PROFITEER'S ANTHEM. The hymns to be sung will be (1) "All people that on earth do well."'-- _Rangoon Times._" From _The Manchester Evening Chronicle_:-- "'THE PROFITEER'S ANTHEM. The hymns to be sung will be (1) "All people that on earth do dwell."' _Rangoon Times_, quoted in _Punch_." * * * * * "It was reported to the Sanitary Committee yesterday that the Inspector of Nuisances had made arrangements for the repair of the meteorological instruments."--_Local Paper._ Judging by our recent weather, quite the right man to look after it. * * * * * From a money-lender's circular:-- "Having been, perhaps, the richest nation in the world before the war, and wealth being only comparative, it is our empirical duty to achieve a like position again." So that's why they are "trying it on." * * * * * "The news, says the Paris correspondent of _The Times_, in itself is serious enough as showing the dangers of letting the Adriatic settlement continue to be at the mercy of a coup de theatre or coup de d'etat, whichever one may like to call it."--_Evening Paper._ We fancy the Paris correspondent of _The Times_ would prefer the former. * * * * * [Illustration: EVEN-HANDED JUSTICE (_As dispensed by the LORD CHANCELLOR and a predecessor_).