I do not know how much my correspondent understood of this letter, but, as the moo-cow was shortly afterwards relegated to fresh pastures, and as we are getting decidedly better measure for our milk money, I gather that he had enough intelligence for my purposes. The threat which I thus put at a venture may be recommended to anyone suffering from the moo nuisance. * * * * * [Illustration: USES OF A TUBE NUISANCE.] * * * * * "The serious loss to D'Annunzio recently of 300,000 lire, through the disappearance of his cashier, has had a happy sequel. The airman-poet has received a like amount from a rich Milanese lady. The donor remains incognito."--_Evening Standard._ It was very clever of the lady to disguise herself as an unknown man. * * * * * THE NEW SUBTRACTION. (_By a middle-class Martyr._) EUCLID is gone, dethroned, By dominies disowned, And modern physicists, Judaeo-Teuton, Finding strange kinks in space, Swerves in light's arrowy race, Make havoc of the theories of NEWTON. Yet, mid this general wreck, These blows dealt in the neck Of authors of established reputation, Four methods unassailed Endured and never failed To guide our arithmetic calculations. But now at last new rules Are used in "Council Schools" In consequence of Governmental action; And newspapers abound In praise of the profound Importance of the so-called "New Subtraction." New, maybe, but too well I know its influence fell; The "new subtraction" (which _I_ suffer under) From what I earn or save By toiling like a slave Is just a euphemistic name for plunder. * * * * * "At Richmond a discharged soldier was charged with stealing a pillow, valued at 7/6, the property of the Government.... The prisoner, who had a clean sheet, was fined 40/-."--_Local Paper._ We can understand his wanting a fresh pillow to go with his clean sheet. * * * * * [Illustration: _Golf Enthusiast_ (_urging the merits of the game_). "--AND, BESIDES, IT'S SO GOOD FOR YOU." _Unbeliever._ "SO IS COD-LIVER OIL."] * * * * * GOLDEN GEESE. The London University Correspondent of _The Observer_ has been deploring the fact that a number of professors and lecturers have lately resigned their poorly-paid academic positions in order to take up commercial and industrial posts at much higher salaries. Among the instances he cites is that of a Professor of Chemistry at King's College, who has been appointed Director of Research to the British Cotton Industry Research Association.