A French physician declares that a gift for yawning is one of the most valuable health-assets. This should be good news for revue-producers. * * * "Honesty," says Dr. INGRAM, "is the best policy after all." All the same some of our profiteers seem to get along pretty well, thank you. * * * The egg-laying competition promoted by _The Daily Mail_ has proved a great success. It is most gratifying to learn that the hens have done their best for "the paper that got us the shells." * * * "The influenza microbe," announces a medical journal, "has made its appearance in many parts of the country and is slowly but surely making its way towards London." With any other Government than ours a simple suggestion that the sign-posts _en route_ should be reversed would have been at once adopted. * * * During the last four weeks exactly four hundred and ninety-nine rats have been destroyed in a small town in South Bedfordshire. It is hoped that as soon as these figures are published a sporting rodent will give itself up in order to complete the fifth century. * * * * * [Illustration: "WHY HAVEN'T YOU GOT ON SPURS?" "I WAS GOING TO SPEAK ABOUT THAT, SIR. I REGRET I ACCIDENTALLY OMITTED TO PUT THEM ON THIS MORNING, AND CONSEQUENTLY HAVE CAUGHT COLD. SO I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO BE KIND ENOUGH TO GRANT ME LEAVE UNTIL--"] * * * * * "A champagne support was provided in the lower hall."--_Local Paper._ Very sustaining, we feel sure. * * * * * "The paper supports the proposed formation of a first army of 'shock troops,' which would be capable of preventing the mobilisation of a great Germy army."--_Evening Paper._ Anything to keep the influenza at bay. * * * * * "The times for the incubation of the eggs of various birds are as under:-- Ostrich 41 days. Gnu 49 days."--_Poultry-Keeping._ "Gnus, indeed!" said the Emu. * * * * * TO AMERICA (_deferentially hinting how others see her and what they think of her threatened repudiation of her PRESIDENT'S pledges_). When you refuse to sign the Peace Except with various "reservations," And prophesy a swift decease Impinging on the League of Nations; When you whose arms (we've understood) Settled the War and wiped the Bosch out Regard the whole world's brotherhood As just a wash-out; You say, in terms a little blunt, "This scheme that you are advertising Was all along a private stunt Of WILSON'S singular devising; His game we weren't allowed to know; Under a misty smile he masked it; We never gave him leave to go (He never asked it).