Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Keith Edkins and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. VOL. 158. February 18th, 1920. CHARIVARIA. Writing in the _Echo de Paris_ "PERTINAX" asks Mr. LLOYD GEORGE to make some quite clear statement regarding his advice to electors. There is more innocence in Paris than you might suppose. * * * Professor WALLER has demonstrated by experiment that emotion can be measured. At the same time he discouraged the man who asked for a couple of yards of Mr. CHURCHILL'S feelings when reading _The Morning Post_. * * * Sir THOMAS LIPTON'S challenge for the America Cup has been accepted by the New York Yacht Club. It appears that neither Mr. Secretary DANIELS nor "President" DE VALERA was consulted. * * * Widespread alarm has been caused in London by the report that a certain famous artist has threatened to paint a Futurist picture of a typical O.B.E. * * * A Dutch paper reminds us that the ex-CROWN-PRINCE has taken a Berlin University degree. We can only suppose that nobody saw him take it. * * * In the case of a will recently admitted to probate it was stated that the testator had disposed of over seven hundred thousand pounds in less than a hundred words. It is not expected that the Ministry of Munitions will take this lying down. * * * It is said that unless the new Unemployment Insurance is an improvement on the present rates quite a number of deserving people will be thrown into work. * * * Much sympathy is felt for the burglars who broke into a house at Herne Hill last week. Unfortunately for them the grocer's bill had been paid the previous day. * * * We gather that, if DEMPSEY still refuses to come to London to fight CARPENTIER, Mr. COCHRAN will arrange to take London out to him. * * * The Lobby Correspondent of _The Daily Express_ states that it has been suggested that the PREMIER should take a long voyage round the world. It would be interesting to know whether the proposal comes from England or the world. * * * "The honest man in Germany," says Herr HAASE, "will not agree to hand over the German officers to the British." We think it would be only fair if Germany would send us the name and address of this honest man. * * * Leather is being used in the new Spring suits, says a daily newspaper. Smith Minor informs us that he always derives greater protection from the use of a piece of stout tin. * * * The collecting of moleskins has been forbidden by the Belgian Government except in gardens. Lure the beast into the strawberry bed by imitating the bark of the wild slug and the rest is mere spade-work. * * * We understand that there is some talk of Lord FISHER giving up work and retiring into politics. * * * * * [Illustration: THE CRIME WAVE. _ALI BABA_ REPEATING ITSELF. FORTY THIEVES DISCOVERED AT A LONDON RAILWAY STATION.] * * * * * MATRIMONIAL ECONOMY.