M. CHARLES NORDMANN states that the world will end in ten thousand million years. It will be interesting to see if America will refuse to take part in this as well. * * * Our horticultural expert informs us that during the next two or three weeks all wooden houses should be carefully pruned. * * * The rumour that Mr. MALLABY-DEELEY, M.P., will be asked to design a new uniform for the Royal Air Force is without foundation. * * * It is feared that, owing to the sudden appearance of Summer weather last week, the POET LAUREATE will once again be obliged to hold over his Spring poem. * * * It seems a pity that eight of the nine bricklayers who entered for the recent brick-laying contest should have collapsed, allowing the ninth an easy walk-over with seven bricks to his credit. * * * Statistics show a remarkable increase in the Welsh birthrate as compared with previous years. As usual, nothing is being done about it. * * * There are several ways, says Sir JAMES MACKENZIE, the eminent specialist, of tracing heart weakness. One way is to charge the owner of the heart seven-and-six for a pound of butter. If he faints he has a weak heart; if he pays he is merely weak in the head. * * * A Bill has been introduced in the New York Legislature to confine the headlines in murder cases to thirty-six points. The limit for international headliners is still fourteen points. * * * The Government, says a contemporary, is about to start growing tobacco in Norfolk. Whether it is to be sold as Coalition Mixture or Carlton Club has not yet been decided. * * * The Royal Academy have issued a notice that frames other than gilt will be admissible this year. Many people, it is thought, who never felt attracted by the old-fashioned gilt frames will now visit the exhibition. * * * An auctioneer's clerk has been summoned for throwing a bun at a railway buffet waitress. It was a thoughtless thing to do. He might have broken it. * * * We have just heard of a Scottish engineer who has decided to strike out along novel lines. Although only twenty-two years of age he has arranged to settle down in Scotland. * * * * * [Illustration: _Taxi-Driver_ (_who has been paid the correct fare_). "YOU'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING, GOV'NOR." _Fare._ "WHAT IS IT?" _Taxi-Driver._ "YOUR ADDRESS. I MIGHT WANT ANOTHER MASCOT SOME DAY."] * * * * * From a fashion-advertisement:-- "PARIS MOVES THE WAIST-LINE." _American Paper._ But it is believed that the young man's strong right arm will succeed in rediscovering it. * * * * * "SUMMER-TIME" (_with some moral reflections_).