Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-03-31Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-03-31
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Well, Palestine," said Hennessey; but I cut him short and sweet,
An' "Natty," I said, "I've heard it all an' I don't want to repeat--
Jerusalem or Mombasa, Tahiti or Timbuctoo,
Or careers an' pioneerin' an' the rest of it all--nah poo!
It's no good, Nat,
For I tell you flat
I've cottoned to India an' that's just that;
_Bus hogeva_; all done--finish; I'm here till the trees turn blue,
For I love them early mornings, shiny an' clear an' grey,
An' I love the cool o' the evening when the temple drummers play,
An' the long, long, lazy afternoons, when the whole creation sleeps--
Quit it? Old man, I couldn't; I'm India's now for keeps.
"So Hennessey, you go home," I says, "an' see to the wife an' kid."
"You'll follow me there one day," says he, an' I says, "Heaven forbid!
I'll just be goin' about an' about an' keepin' an open mind
An' sometimes doin' a job o' work, but not if I'm not inclined;
An' I won't care
If I'm here or there,
Jungle or forest or feast or fair;
I'll take it all as it comes along, as the Maker o' things designed;
I'll tramp it North to the Kashmir hills an' South to the Nilgiris;
I'll find my friends as I find my fun--and that's where I dam well
please;
An' never no _saman_ or houses or taxes or servants to send things
wrong."
"It wouldn't suit me," said Hennessey. "It wouldn't," says I. "So long!"
* * * * *
THE ACTRESS.
You are doubtless aware that in the successful musical comedy, _The Girl of
Forty-Seven_, there is a scene in which Miss Verbena Vaine, as
_Clementina_, the horse-dealer's beautiful daughter, denounces the
disreputable old veterinary surgeon, _Binnett_, so whimsically played by
that ripe comedian, Mr. Sid Apps.
On my first visit to the play many weeks ago an incident occurred which
both enhanced Mr. Apps's reputation for spontaneous humour and highly
diverted the audience.
It will be remembered that at the climax of her outburst, _Clementina_,
with eyes ablaze and voice vibrating with passion, hisses, "Loathsome
scoundrel, how I detest and despise you!" On the evening to which I refer a
mock-submissive look came into Apps's face when these words were spoken,
and he interrupted gently, "Not too much soda, Verbena," glancing with
mischievous curiosity to see how she would take his humorous comment upon
her emphatic utterance of this line of many sibilants.
The audience was greatly delighted by this effect. Miss Vaine failed
completely to maintain the _role_ of the indignant beauty and turned her
back to the footlights to hide her face, though her laughter was betrayed
by the shaking of her handsome shoulders. There was a pause of some moments
before she resumed, "My father shall know of this," and so forth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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