E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Jonathan Ingram, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 22905-h.htm or 22905-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/9/0/22905/22905-h/22905-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/2/9/0/22905/22905-h.zip) PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI VOL. 158 APRIL 7, 1920 CHARIVARIA. "Do the British people," asks Mr. BLATCHFORD, "understand the nature of the monster modern military science has created?" We hope to hear later what name Mr. WINSTON CHURCHILL has found for Mr. BLATCHFORD. * * * Agitation for a Federal Divorce Law is being revived in the United States. It appears that there are still some backward States where the expenses of a divorce suit mount up to something like ten dollars and the parties often have to wait as long as three weeks before the knot is untied. * * * "It has now been decided definitely," says _The Daily Express_, "that Sir AUCKLAND GEDDES will leave England on April 10th." This disposes finally of the rumour that he intended taking it with him. * * * The natives of the Andaman Islands average about seventy pounds each in weight. They are so short in stature that their feet only just reach the ground in time. * * * M. LOUCHEUR suggests that France should build houses similar to those which are not being built in England. * * * "Sergeant R. Pernotte," says a student of human endeavour, "last week punched a ball for fifty hours without a break." It is presumed that the ball must have done something to annoy him. * * * Thirty thousand years ago, says a weekly journal, the seas around England were at a higher level than at present. It is difficult to know what can be done about it, but it is just as well that the matter should be mentioned. * * * According to Mr. M. T. SIMM, M.P., there are many wayside inns of a passable nature. The trouble, of course, is that so many people have a difficulty in passing them. * * * We understand that Mr. Justice ----'s question, "Who is Mr. LLOYD GEORGE?" has been postponed to a date to be fixed later. * * * A trade journal advertises a new calculating machine which will total up stupendous figures without any human help at all. A correspondent writes to say that in his house he has the identical gas meter which gave the inventor his idea. * * * The contemporary which refers to the discovery of a gold ring inside a cod-fish as extraordinary evidently cannot be aware that many profiteers who go in for fishing are nowadays using such articles as bait. * * *