Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-04-28 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-04-28Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-04-28
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
There are a number of other interesting functionaries on the way to the
Bear-Garden; but we must get on. When you have wandered about in the
purlieus for a long time you will hear a tremendous noise, a sort of
combined snarling and roaring and legal conversation. When you hear
that, you will know that you are very near the bears. They are all
snarling and roaring in a large preliminary arena, where the bears
prepare themselves for the struggle; all round it are smaller cages or
arenae, where the struggles take place. If possible you ought to go
early, so that you can watch the animals massing. Lawyers, as I have had
occasion to observe before, are the most long-suffering profession in
the country, and the things they do in the Bear-Garden they have to do
in the luncheon-hour, or rather in the luncheon half-hour, between
half-past one and two.
This accounts perhaps for the extreme frenzy of the proceedings. They
hurry in a frenzy up the back-stairs about 1.25, and they pace up and
down in a frenzy till half-past one. There are all sorts of bears, most
of them rather seedy old bears, with shaggy and unkempt coats. These are
solicitors' clerks, and they all come straight out of DICKENS. They have
shiny little private-school handbags, each inherited, no doubt, through
a long line of ancestral solicitors' clerks; and they all have the
draggled sort of moustache that tells you when it is going to rain.
While they are pacing up and down the arena they all try to get rid of
these moustaches by pulling violently at alternate ends; but the only
result is to make it look more like rain than ever.
Some of the bears are robust old bears, with well-kept coats and loud
roars; these are solicitors' clerks too, only better fed; or else they
are real solicitors. And a few of the bears are perky young
creatures--in barrister's robes, either for the first time, when they
look very self-conscious, or for the second time, when they look very
self-confident. All the bears are telling each other about their cases.
They are saying, "We are a deceased wife's sister suing _in forma
pauperis_," or "I am a discharged bankrupt, three times convicted of
perjury, but I am claiming damages under the Diseases of Pigs Act,
1862," or "You are the crew of a merchant-ship and we are the editor of
a newspaper." Just at first it is rather disturbing to hear snatches of
conversation like that, but there is no real cause for alarm; they are
only identifying themselves with the interests of their clients; and,
when one realises that, one is rather touched.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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