IN the belief that the numerous signs and notices, such as those containing warnings and advice to the public, with which the eye is so familiar, might be employed as suitable _media_ for commercial advertisement, the following suggestions are offered for what they are worth:-- =LIFT NOT WORKING.= When you walk upstairs be sure your boots are shod with PUSSYFOOT Rubber Heels. * * * =TO STOP THE TRAIN PULL DOWN THE CORD.= Then light a NAVY LIST Cigarette. That alone is worth the L5. * * * =STICK NO BILLS.= It's not your job. Let STIKKOTINE do it. Sticks anything. * * * =THIS RACK IS PROVIDED FOR LIGHT ARTICLES ONLY.= If your baby is a GLOXO baby keep it on your knee. GLOXO builds _bulky_ bairns. * * * =KEEP OFF THE GRASS.= Unless you are wearing GUMBOODLE'S Goloshes. Won't wet feet. * * * =BEWARE OF THE DOG.= Wait till he hears HIS MASTER'S VOICE. * * * =YOU MAY TELEPHONE FROM HERE.= Ring up your newsagent and order your DAILY WAIL. Billion Sale. Order it now. CHU CHIN CHOW. * * * * * "CHARLES ---- This week, DRIVEN FROM HOME. Next week, AT SEA." _Daily Paper._ Surely this pitiable case ought to be brought to the attention of the Actors' Benevolent Association. * * * * * [Illustration: _Epicurean._ "AH, YOU LITTLE REALISE HOW THESE APRIL SHOWERS BRING ON THE PEAS."] * * * * * OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. (_By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks._)