[Illustration: A DISTURBER OF THE PEACE. ENTENTE POLICEMAN (_to Germany Militant_). "ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE THAT STUFF OFF OR MUST I DO IT FOR YOU?"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Cafe Genius._ "THE FACT IS WE MAKE OURSELVES TOO CHEAP. OF COURSE THE PUBLIC PAYS TO SEE OUR PICTURES, BUT THE BLIGHTERS CAN COME AND SEE US FOR NOTHING."] * * * * * "The weather of the week has been characteristic of the month. A dawn breaks with a fair sunset."--_Scotch Paper._ Of course this happens only very far North. * * * * * SAFETY PLAY. (_According to local legend, Whitby Abbey possesses a ghost which only appears in a blaze of sunshine_). MEN there may be so immune from timidity Never a spectre could fill them with fright, Men who could keep their accustomed placidity Were they to meet in the gloom of the night Lady Hermione tramping the corridor, Wicked Sir Guy with his fetters adrag, Or a plebeian who shrieked something horrid or Carried his head in a vanity bag. Not such am I. Every hair at the vertical, I should resort to hysterical screams Did a diaphanous Lady (or Sir) tickle Me on the cheek in the midst of my dreams; Yet when, at Yule, I hear people converse on all Manner of spooks round the log in the grate, Often I wish that I too had a personal Psychic experience I could relate. I am a coward when midnight looms murkily, But when the sunlight of noon's at its best I could face calmly--I'd even say perkily-- Nebulous figures as well as the rest; So I'll to Whitby, and (on the hypothesis That she'll obligingly come to me there) Wait in its abbey (see text). By my troth, this is Just such a ghost as I'm ready to dare. * * * * * MASCULINE MODES. BY BEAU BRUMMEL. THE news that the price of lounge suits will have risen to twenty-four pounds by the autumn has created something of a sartorial panic in the City and the West End. Famous old wardrobes are being broken up on all sides by owners anxious to acquire fresh clothing before it is too late, whilst the small properties thus created find eager tenants amongst those who cannot afford a new outfit at all. Many tailors who have built new suits are beginning to dispose of them on three or five year repairing leases, and possession of these may sometimes be secured from the present occupiers on payment of a substantial premium. Gentlemen possessing both town and country sets of suitings are in many cases letting the latter in order to come up to London for the season, whilst others are resorting to various economical artifices to meet the crisis. Plus four golf knickers, let down, make admirable wedding trousers for a short man, and many are the old college blazers dyed black and doing duty as natty pea-jackets.