Then he said, "Entirely my fault. Your chauffeur is in no way to blame. The fact is we couldn't get a taxi, and my brother being rather delicate----" "What, another?" barked the rasper. There was nothing for it. Acutely conscious as I was how emphatically my countenance, flushed by the exertions of the evening, belied Willoughby's description of "delicate," it was impossible for me to remain in the car, and I stepped heavily out. "It rhymes with _hat_," said Willoughby softly. * * * * * As we slunk off down the Square, after as painful a five minutes as I care to remember, Willoughby kept repeating, "Very unlucky--_very_ unlucky," till we arrived at our own door. Then he began to laugh. "And what is the joke?" I asked. "There is no joke," he said--"no joke at all." "Indeed there is not," I said bitterly. "You must remember that, unlike yourself, I live here permanently." "I realise it," said Willoughby. "But do you not think, on consideration, that that really gives you the advantage? I mean, you have thus the opportunity of living down the unfortunate accusation of inebriety that has been brought against us, which I shall not be in a position to do." I hate living things down. * * * * * COMMERCIAL CANDOUR. From a restaurant bill-of-fare:-- "Develled Leg of Foul and Curly Bacon, 2/6." * * * * * "WORMWOOD SCRUBS'S ILL-HEALTH. RELEASED TO PRIVATE HOSPITAL. Mr. Kelly, the Lord Mayor of Dublin, has released Wormwood Scrubs owing to his health."--_Australian Paper._ Some trouble in the cellular system, we gather. * * * * * Mr. JAMES SEXTON, M.P., who was howled down at a meeting at St. Helens recently, said he refused to bow the knee to a lot of body-snatchers who wanted him to sacrifice his manhood and conscience to satisfy their inclinations. A self-respecting sexton could do no less. ROYAL ACADEMY--FIRST DEPRESSIONS. [Illustration: A SPIRITED REPRESENTATION OF "CA' CANNY" ON THE KENTISH COAST DURING THE INITIAL WORK ON THE CHANNEL TUNNEL, _circ._ B.C. 200.] [Illustration: THE BULL-DOG BREED. AN AGED COUPLE, THEIR FEATURES DISFIGURED BY MOSQUITO BITES, BRAVELY CONTINUE TO SIT FOR THEIR PORTRAITS.] [Illustration: THE KITTEN WHICH ALL WHO KNOW AND LOVE THE BEST TRADITIONS OF THE ACADEMY WOULD EXPECT TO FIND IN THIS PICTURE HAS EVIDENTLY STRAYED INTO] [Illustration: THIS ONE. WE DRAW ATTENTION TO THIS SO AS TO PREVENT VISITORS FROM WASTING THEIR TIME IN SEARCHING FOR IT ALL OVER THE GALLERIES.] [Illustration: _SEE BELOW._] [Illustration: THE STOUT GENTLEMAN APPEARS TO FEEL SOME DISCOMFORT FROM THE HEAT. THAT IS WHY THE HANGING COMMITTEE HAVE THOUGHTFULLY SUSPENDED SOME ICE OVER HIS HEAD.] [Illustration: THE FAMOUS MARIONETTE SHOW AT THE QUAI D'ORSAY.