* * * * * THE AUTHOR-MANAGERS. Literature is becoming so commercialised that it is to be expected that before long popular authors, who already surreptitiously practise the tradesman's art, will go a step further and write their own advertisements. No longer will they be content to get themselves interviewed on the subject of their next book, their new car and their favourite poodle, or to depend on the oleaginous eulogies of the publishers. For instance: MR. DOUGLAS DORMY begs to announce that he is NOW SHOWING his new Novel, THE HIDDEN HAND OF HATE, and confidently recommends it to his Customers. It contains no fewer than 92,563 of the _BEST WORDS_ in the English Language and is guaranteed FREE from Split Infinitives. Or again: Are YOU one of the mentally alert men, the wistful women, who have filled up an application form to-day for _PATTERNS OF CHAPTER ONE_ of SEPTIMUS POSHER'S New great romance of love and mystery THE SICKENING THUD? If you have not already done so, lose no time, but write asking for sample of _OPENING CHAPTER_ (where the PINK-EYED WOMAN prevents the marriage of ETHEL and LUDOVIC); of _CHAPTER NINETY_, with its nine SUPERB-QUALITY MURDERS; or _CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED_ (the last), where ETHEL and LUDOVIC at last set out through the _FAIRYLAND OF LIFE_. You incur NO RISK in asking for these exquisite samples. _Write direct to SEPTIMUS POSHER._ Or yet again: MR. BOREAS BINKS has pleasure in announcing that his new volumes of _RECOLLECTIONS_ is now showing at all Libraries. He can confidently claim that this work, entitled PEOPLE I HAVE MET AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM, is absolutely the most refined volume of Scandal on the market. All the reminiscences are novel and tasty. Or once more: KEATS WILLIAMS, _Poet and Critic_. Poems of every description completed at the SHORTEST NOTICE. Ask to see our choice SPRING LINES. _Specimens Free._ EPICS within Two Days. ODES within a few Hours. Sonnets, Rondeaux, Triolets, Quatrains while you wait. _A well-known Judge writes_: "I should very much like to give you a trial. I am sure you deserve it." * * * * * DER TAG ONCE MORE. ["One hundred Diplomatists' Writing Tables, Cupboards, etc., for immediate delivery.--Office Furniture Manufacturers, ---- and Co., ----, Berlin."--_The Times "Business Opportunities" column._] Lightly loose the silken cable, Swell, ye sails, by zephyrs kissed, Bearing me the walnut table Thumped by BETHMANN-HOLLWEG'S fist; Steering, not by course erratic, Safe to the appointed wharf, Bring, O bark, the diplomatic Kneehole desk of LUDENDORFF.