"Mr. Holmes," said John, "we seek your aid. You have a wide and deep knowledge of geography--that is botany, and you shall settle a problem that is ruining my home." "Certainly I will do my best," said Mr. Holmes. And then without a blush: "What is the problem, may I ask?" "We have found a piece of----" began John. "Don't tell him," shrieked Margery. "Let him see for himself." They fetched the weed and handed it reverently to the Curate. Mr. Holmes looked at it carefully. He breathed on it and moistened it with his finger. At last he looked up. "This is a very rare specimen indeed," he said; "I never remember to have seen one quite like it. It is in fact a hybrid." He stopped and beamed at us. "What's it _called_?" shrieked Margery and John together. Mr. Holmes chose his words carefully. "It is called," he said, "Hairy Catkin." There was a pause while Margery and John gazed at each other. "'Hairy Catkin,'" said John solemnly. "Then--then we're both right!" said Margery. They looked at each other again and then did the only thing possible in the circumstances. Each fell on the other's neck. Mr. Holmes and I shook hands silently. * * * * * [Illustration: "GET UP, DEAR, AND GIVE YOUR SEAT TO THIS LADY. REMEMBER YOU LOSE NOTHING BY BEING POLITE." "OH, DON'T I? I LOSE MY SEAT."] * * * * * The Wool Shortage. "Blankets, guaranteed all wood." _Provincial Paper._ "Antique Carved Ebony Carpet." _Another Provincial Paper._ * * * * * "Within there is the delicious scent of burning logs, and all the fragrance of only a 1-1/2_d._ stamp."--_Daily Paper._ We have tasted the backs of these stamps--a delicious bouquet. * * * * * "Berwick Guardians on Euesday favour-tarining in Ireland, was more able to deal receive their vates. The candidate, Mr. D. +opinion. The ballot for position of places+ accompanied feastings and jollification, and sentation what elections were like in the the business of auctioneer." _North-Country Paper._ Portions of the paragraph are not too clear, but we should say there was no doubt about the jollification. * * * * * [Illustration: STAGE AMENITIES. "HELLO, CISSIE! SO YOU'RE ASSISTING AT DAISY DARLINT'S BENEFIT TOO?" "YES--THE CAT!"] * * * * * CHIPPO'S SCENARIO. (_With the British Army in France._) It was the Societe Grand Guignol de Cinema's busy day. On the beach at Petiteville cameras were rattling away like machine guns, orders from the producer were hissing through the air with the vicious hum of explosive bullets, and weary supers were marching and counter-marching in a state of hopeless apathy.