According to an evening paper a temperance speaker fainted during a procession in a Kentish town, and was immediately carried into a shop and brought round by whisky. The report that on being informed of this fact he again went off into a faint is happily without foundation. * * * A man aged seventy-six was charged last week with threatening to shoot a West-End family of six. It is said that his parents intend to plead the baneful influence of the cinema. * * * The fact that at least seven people have expressed their intention of swimming the English Channel this year draws attention once more to the lack of accommodation on our cross-Channel steamers. * * * A wheelbarrow has been presented to the parishioners of Hornchurch, Essex. We have maintained all along that the motor-car craze would wear itself out in time. * * * On April the 21st the Maharajah of BIKANIR shot his hundredth tiger. All efforts to induce him to join the R.I.C. have so far failed. * * * The case is reported of a hen which lays an egg each morning on her master's bed and then pecks his cheek to wake him up at the proper time for breakfast. Guess where this happens. America? Right. * * * We understand that in view of the paper shortage the West Drayton man who managed to get through on the telephone last week has abandoned the idea of writing a book about it. * * * Much annoyance is said to have been caused to one bricklayer last week. It seems that just before the dinner hour somebody kicked away the brick he had laid and the unfortunate fellow had to start the day all over again. * * * According to _The Manila Bulletin_ the cost of living is going to fall. Not on us, we trust. * * * * * [Illustration: _'Arry._ "THEY'RE TALKIN' ABAHT DOIN' GREEK PLAYS AN' PAGEANTS AN' ALL SORTS O' LOOPY STUNTS AT 'AMPSTEAD ON BANK 'OLIDAYS." _'Arriet._ "LUMME! IT'LL GIT THE PLACE A BAD NAME."] * * * * * The Hire Education. "Required, an Assistant Teacher (Lady), with option of purchase."--_Australian Paper._ * * * * * "Ex-Soldier's Tale. NOTE TO WAR PRISONER HIDDEN IN CHEESE." _National News._ We should like to hear more of the prisoner and his novel hiding-place. * * * * * MAY-WEEK. [Addressed affectionately to the author of "May-Week Then and Now" in _The Times_ of last Wednesday.] Though forty years have done their worst To change us to the sere and brown, Since we in verdant freshness first Assumed the triple-chevroned gown, As I perused _The Times_ this very day week Your statement thrilled me through and through-- How people still go gathering nuts in May-week Much as they used to do.