With reference to the man who was seen laughing at Newport last week, it is only fair to point out that he was not a ratepayer, but was only visiting the place. *** LARRY LEMON, says _The Sunday Express_, is considered to be better than CHARLIE CHAPLIN. As he is quite a young man, however, it is possible that he may yet grow out of it. *** The Clerk of the oldest City Company writes to _The Times_ to say that his Livery has resolved to drink no champagne at its feasts. Meanwhile other predictions as to the end of the world should be treated with reserve. *** After the statement in court by Mr. Justice DARLING people contemplating marriage should book early for divorce if they want to avoid the rush. *** "Why Marry?" says the title of a new play. While no valid reason appears to exist many declare that it is a small price to pay for the satisfaction of being divorced. *** Three-fourths of the public only buy newspapers to read the advertisements, says a contemporary. It would be interesting to know what the others buy them for. *** "Few people seem to realise," says a cinema gossip, "that Miss S. Eaden, the American film actress, is fond of tulips." We are ashamed to confess that we had not fully grasped this fact. *** It appears that one newspaper has decided that May 24th shall be the opening date for ceasing to notice the cuckoo. Will correspondents please note? *** "Things are unsettled in Ireland," says a gossip writer. We think people should be more careful what they say. Scandal like this might get about. *** A certain golf club has petitioned the local Council for permission to play golf "in a modified form." Members who recently heard the Club Colonel playing out of the bunker at the seventh declare that no substantial modification is possible. *** A new invention for motorists makes a buzzing sound when the petrol tank is getting low. This is nothing compared with the motor-taxes invented by the CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER, which make the motorist himself whistle. *** In the opinion of a weekly paper no dog can stand the sound of bagpipes without setting up a howl. This only goes to prove, what we have always contended, that dogs are almost human. * * * * * [Illustration: _Visitor._ "WHY DOES YOUR SERVANT GO ABOUT THE HOUSE WITH HER HAT ON?" _MISTRESS._ "OH, SHE'S A NEW GIRL. SHE ONLY CAME THIS MORNING, AND HASN'T YET MADE UP HER MIND WHETHER SHE'LL STAY."] * * * * * THE LIBERAL BREACH. (_As viewed dispassionately by a looker-on._) WHEN dog with dog elects to fight I take no hand in such disputes, Knowing how hard they both would bite Should I attempt to part the brutes. So in the case of man and wife My rooted habit it has been, When they engage in privy strife, Never to go and barge between.