Produced by Lesley Halamek, Jonathan Ingram and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI Volume 158, Jan-Jul 1920 MAY 26, 1920 * * * * * [Illustration: _Sportsman._ "WHAT ON EARTH'S HAPPENED TO THE FAVOURITE?" _The Jonah Man._ "I PUT SOME MONEY ON HIM."] * * * CHARIVARIA. Bohemia has decided to have a Coalition Government. Several London morning papers are prepared to offer them one in good going condition, providing they pay cost of transit. * * * According to a contemporary, "rabbits are worth less when they are skinned by the shopkeeper." So is the customer. * * * "It is of greater advantage to know the Welsh language," says Professor TROW, "than to know French." That is, of course, if you wish to use it for defensive purposes. * * * Sir GORDON HEWART has declined to "make any attempt to consider what is to happen after the next election." The fact of the matter is that _The Daily Mail_ itself has not yet decided. * * * It is reported that an opposition League of Nations is to be started among countries addicted to war. The League will take cognisance of all outbreaks of peace. * * * A peculiar incident is reported from a large town in the South of England. It appears that one day last week a bricklayer lost count of the number of bricks he had laid, with the result that a recount had to be made to enable him to ascertain whether he had finished for the day or not. * * * The Post Office Workers' Union Conference at Morecambe declared last week that the Government was "without capacity, courage or principle." Apart from these defects they have no fault to find with it. * * * Sir JAGADIZ CHUNDER BOSE, lecturing at Westminster School, said that plants, like human beings, are sensitive to pain. Some of the war-time allotment marrows we heard so much of must have suffered badly from obesity. * * * Most actors, in the opinion of an official of the Actors' Association, are better off than they used to be. But what we want to see is an improvement when they are on. * * * American shipping circles deny the rumour that they are building a liner measuring thirteen hundred feet in length. We felt at the time that this vessel must have been a Canarder. * * * Although a heavy safe was bodily removed from a small house in Wolverhampton during the night, not one of the four persons sleeping in the next room was awakened by the burglars. Such thoughtfulness on the part of the intruders deserves the greatest credit. * * * "A single greenfly," declared a speaker at a meeting of the R.S.P.C.A., "may have fifteen thousand descendants in a week." This almost equals the record of the Chicago millionaire who recently died intestate. * * *