THE HYDE PARK MONUMENT. DEAR SIR,--The experience of the Parisian scavenger who recently discovered a crocodile in a dustbin encourages me to write to you on a similar subject. I note with profound dismay the proposal to turn Hyde Park into a Zoological Garden. At least this is not an unfair deduction from the scheme to instal a huge python in the neighbourhood of Hyde Park Corner. I do not profess to know much about snakes, but I believe the python is a most dangerous reptile, and I see it stated that the pythons which have just arrived at Regent's Park are "large and vigorous, already active and looking for food." Surely this monstrous suggestion, threatening the safety of the peaceful frequenters of the Park, calls for a national protest. Can it be that the PREMIER is at the back of this, as of every invasion of our rights? Yours faithfully, MATERFAMILIAS. P.S.--My son says it is a pylon, not a python, but that only makes it worse. STRANGE EXPERIENCE OF A HERMIT. DEAR SIR,--My grandfather, who died in the 'fifties, used to tell a story of a hermit who lived in Savernake Forest, an extraordinarily absent-minded man with a beard of such colossal dimensions that several of the feathered denizens of the forest took up their abode in its recesses. This curious phenomenon was, I believe, commemorated in verse by an early-Victorian poet, but I have not been able after considerable research to trace the reference. I have the honour to remain, Yours faithfully, ISIDORE TUFTON (Author of _The Growth of the Moustache Movement, The Topiary Art as applied to Whiskers_, and the article on "Pogonotrophy" in _The Hairdressers' Encyclopaedia_). PRESENCE OF MIND IN A PORBEAGLE. DEAR SIR,--The following verses, though not strictly relevant to the crocodile incident, commemorate an occurrence illustrating the extent to which piscine intelligence can be developed in favourable circumstances:-- "There was an unlucky porbeagle Who was picked up at sea by an eagle; On reaching the nest It began to protest On the ground that the speed was illegal." I am Sir, Yours faithfully, GEORGE WASHINGTON COOK. * * * * * "Lieut.-Commander Kenworthy said it had been advocated in _The Times_. The Premier: I will be prepared to believe anything of _The Times_, but really I do not tink it has ever suggested tat."--_Daily Mail_. Mr. LLOYD GEORGE is always ready to give _The Times_ tink-for-tat. * * * * * [Illustration: _Guest_ (_to Fellow-Guest at garden-party who has offered to introduce her to well-known Socialist_). "I DON'T THINK SO, THANKS. HE LOOKS RATHER FEARSOME." _Fellow-Guest._ "MY DEAR, HE'S ONE OF THE FEW DECENT PEOPLE HERE--BELONGS TO AN OLD ENGLISH LABOURING FAMILY."] * * * * * I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER. (_Carefully imitated from the best models, except that it has somehow got into metre and rhyme._)