Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, 1920-07-28Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, 1920-07-28
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Yes, he finds it an advantage. You see, since the fusion of the old
parties and the formation of new ones, the possession of a memory is often
a source of considerable embarrassment to a leader writer. Toller now does
the political articles for a prominent morning paper. The proprietors
consider him a wonderful find."
* * * * *
BUCKLER'S.
To acquire an estate is, even in these days of inflated prices and
competitive house-hunters, an easy matter compared with finding a name for
it when it is yours. It is then that the real trouble sets in.
Take the case of my friend Buckler.
A little while ago he purchased a property, a few acres on the very top of
a hill not too far from London and only half-a-mile from his present
habitation, and there he is now building a home. At least the plans are
done and the ground has been pegged out. "Here," he will say, quite
unmindful of the clouds emptying themselves all over us--with all an
enthusiast's disregard for others, and an enthusiast, moreover, who has his
abode close by, full of changes of raiment--"here," setting his foot firmly
in the mud, "is where the dining-room will be. Here," moving away a few
yards through the slush, "is the billiard-room." Then, pointing towards the
zenith with his stick, "Above it"--here you look up into the pitiless sky
as well as the deluge will permit--"are two spare rooms, one of which will
be yours when you come to see us." And so forth.
He then leads the way round the place, through brake fern wetter than
waves, to indicate the position of the tennis-courts, and in course of time
you are allowed to return to the dry and spend the rest of the day in
borrowed clothes.
Everyone knows these Kubla Khans decreeing pleasure domes and enlarging
upon them in advance of the builders, and never are they so eloquent and
unmindful of rain and discomforts as when their listeners are poor and
condemned to a squalid London existence for ever.
But that is beside the mark. It is the naming of these new country seats
that leads to such difficulties.
That night at dinner the question arose again.
"As it is on the top of the hill," said a gentle wistful lady, "why not
call it 'Hill Top'? I'm sure I've seen that name before. It is expressive
and simple."
"So simple," said Buckler, "that my nearest neighbour has already
appropriated it."
"I suppose that would be an objection," said the lady, and we all agreed.
"Why not," said another guest, "call it 'The Summit'? or, more concisely,
just 'Summit'?"
"Or why not go further," said a frivolous voice, "and suggest hospitality
too--and Buckler's hospitality is notorious--by calling it 'Summit-to-
Eat'?"
Our silence was properly contemptuous of this sally.
"If you didn't like that you might call it 'Summit-to-Drink,'" the
frivolous voice impenitently continued. "Then you would get all the
Americans there too."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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