Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, 1920-07-28Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, 1920-07-28
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
For after all sixty-five pounds to-day is little more than thirty pounds in
pre-war times. Considering their trifling cost I am surprised that more
people do not possess dromedaries. Most of my neighbours during the past
two years have built garages, but not one, so far as I am aware, has built
a dromedary-drome.
I think I shall buy one of these attractive pets if my pass-book encourages
me. Cheaper than a motor-car and far more intelligent and responsive to
human affection, a dromedary will add distinction to my establishment and
afford pleasant occupation for my leisure. It brings no attendant annoyance
from the Inland Revenue authorities; there are no tiresome registration
fees or regulations as to the dimensions of a number-plate.
As long as I can remember I have lived in a state of uncertainty as to
whether a dromedary has two humps and a camel one, or a camel two humps and
a dromedary one. With one of these exotic quadrupeds tethered only a few
yards away from the kitchen door that condition of doubt need not exist in
the future for more than a few moments. In a good light it should be
perfectly easy to count the humps or hump. Then again a dromedary will come
for a walk on a fine evening without involving one in a dog-fight. It will
provide quiet yet healthful exercise for the two children. If it turns out
that the type possesses two humps it will be able to convey Edgar and
Marigold at one and the same time, thus saving delay and inconvenience.
It will be a protection to the house. When we have gone to bed the faithful
creature will lie on guard in the hall, and no amount of poisoned liver
thrust through the letter-box will assuage its ferocity or weaken its
determination to protect the hearth and home of its master against
marauders. For the dromedary is not only a strict teetotaler and non-
smoker, but a lifelong vegetarian. Famous for its browsing propensities, a
dromedary about the garden will save untold labour and expense, keeping the
lawn trimmed and the hedges clipped. And indoors its height will serve me
admirably in enabling me, while seated on its hump or one of its humps, to
attend in comfort to a little whitewashing job which will not brook further
postponement.
I will look at my pass-book to-morrow.
* * * * *
FLOWERS' NAMES.
COLT'S FOOT.
When the four Horses of the Sun
Were little leggy things,
When they could only jump and run
And hadn't grown their wings,
The Sun-God sent them out to play
In a field one July day.
Oh, the four Horses of the Sun
They galloped and they rolled,
They leapt into the air for fun
And felt so brave and bold;
And when they'd done their gallopings
They'd grown four splendid pairs of wings.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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