Obviously the result of all this would be that not only would the miners be justified in asking for more money, but that the country would be able to afford it; and similar competitive leagues, to supersede trade unions, would soon be formed by other trades. One seems to hear faintly the loud plaudits of the onlookers as two crack teams of West-end road-menders step smartly into the arena.... EVOE. * * * * * =Our Bolshevik Colonies.= "Married Shepherd, used hilly country and all farm and station work, desires Situation; wife would cook one or two men." "_The Press," Christchurch, N.Z._ "Miss ----, a soubrette, whose songs lean towards the voluptuous, sank 'Somebody's Baby.' Her encore number, 'You'd be Surprised,' was even more so." "_The Dominion," Wellington, N.Z._ * * * * * [Illustration: _Woodland Sprite (from Stepney, to eminent botanist)._ "PLEASE, MISTER, MAGGIE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT YOU CHARGE FOR TAKING TWINS?"] * * * * * THE PASSING OF THE CRADLE. [According to a report which recently appeared in a daily paper, cradles for infants are becoming a thing of the past.] Snug retreat for mother's treasure, Shall I pine as I repeat Rumour's strange report, which says you're Virtually obsolete? Shall these lips a doleful lyric Proffer at your ghostly bier, Or compose a panegyric Moistened with a minstrel's tear? Me the theme leaves too unshaken, Though "some" father more or less; Better 'twere if undertaken By my wife (a poetess); And, if I be asked, Why vainly Occupy, then, so much space? My concern, I'll say, is mainly With the woman in the case. For, when she and you shall sever (Though 'tis early yet to crow), Your departure may for ever Lay her proudest triumph low; Yes, while men (I'm much afraid) 'll Round her fingers still be twirled, If her hand can't rock a cradle It may cease to boss the world. * * * * * =Commercial Candour.= "Irate Householders, why be swindled in a clumsy manner? Fetch your second-hand clothing to me and be done in the most approved style."--_Daily Paper_. * * * * * "MORE LITERARY HEREDITY. Fresh literary fame seems to be pending for the Maurice Hewlett family circle. Mr. Robin Richards, the son-in-law of the famous novelist, is about to appeal to fiction readers with his first novel."--_Daily Paper_. No more of the old-fashioned DARWIN and GALTON nonsense about fathers and children. * * * * * SEVEN WHITEBAIT.