Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, 1920-10-06Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, 1920-10-06
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"Oh, no, I don't think so. You merely had your way again, that was all.
I was always against offering a reward. And the word 'handsome' too. In
any case I never agreed to that. You put that in later. Another thing,"
Mrs. Bathurst continued, "I knew it in some curious way--in my bones, as
they say--that the fineness of Cherub's nature, its innocence, its
radiant friendliness, would overcome any sordidness in the person who
found him, poor darling, all lost and unhappy. No one who has been much
with that simple sweet character could fail to be the better for it."
Mr. Bathurst coughed.
"That is so?" his wife persisted.
"Well," said Mr. Bathurst, after helping himself to another egg, "let us
hope so, at any rate."
"It's gone beyond mere hope," said his wife triumphantly. "Listen to
this;" and she read out the sentence from the second advertisement, "'No
reward required.' There," she added, "isn't that proof? I'll go round to
Cheviot Road directly after breakfast and say how grateful we are, and
bring the darling back."
III.
Meanwhile at "The Limes" Mr. Hartley Friend was pacing the room with
impatient steps.
"I do wish you would try to be less impulsive," he was saying to his
wife. "Anything in the nature of business you would be so much wiser to
leave to me."
"What is it now?" Mrs. Friend asked with perfect placidity.
"This dog," said her husband, "that fastened itself on you in this
deplorable way--whatever possessed you to rush into print about it?"
"Of course I rushed, as you say. Think of the feelings of the poor
woman who has lost her pet. It was the only kind thing to do."
"'Poor woman' indeed! I assure you she's nothing of the sort. One would
think you were a millionaire to be ladling out benefactions like this.
'No reward required.' Fancy not even asking for the price of the
advertisement to be refunded!"
"But that would have been so squalid."
"'Squalid!' I've no patience with you. Justice isn't squalor. It's--it's
justice. As for your 'poor woman,' listen to this." And he read out the
Bathurst advertisement with terrible emphasis on the words "Handsome
reward offered." "Do you hear that--'handsome'?"
"Yes, I hear," said his wife amiably; "but that isn't my idea of making
money."
"I hope you don't suppose it's mine," said her husband. "But there is
such a thing as common sense. Why on earth the accident of this little
brute following us home should run us into the expense of an
advertisement and a certain amount of food and drink I'm hanged if I can
see."
"Well, dear," said his wife with the same amiability, "if you can't see
it I can't make you."
IV.
A few minutes later the arrival of "a lady who's come for the Peek" was
announced.
"No," said Mr. Friend as his wife rose, "leave it to me. I'll deal with
it. The situation is very delicate."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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