Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 62, Feb 3, 1872Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 62, Feb 3, 1872
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
PROFESSOR AGASSIZ has discovered "a fish which builds a nest." Wonders
are only just beginning. Other Professors, envious of AGASSIZ'S good
fortune, will be stimulated to renewed study of the Animal Kingdom; and
the result will be that at no distant day we shall see the great
Zoological collections, here and in America, enriched by the addition of
a glowworm which lives in a hive, a tortoise which hops from bough to
bough, an oviparous rabbit, and a lobster whose diet consists
exclusively of salad. The fable which deluded our childhood may yet be
realised, and pigeon's milk take its place amongst the common articles
of a free breakfast table.
* * * * *
NEW SCHOOL FOR NOBS.
[Illustration: K]IND _Mr. Punch_, a happy change has come over the
character of our Public Schools. The chief of them, I have been told, of
what is called mediaeval foundation, were originally intended to educate
the sons of poor gentlemen. But now, Sir, the purpose they have come to
serve is just the reverse of that. A correspondent of the _Morning
Post_, signing himself PAVIDUS--evidently a mean, shabby, needy sprig of
gentility, afraid, as his signature means, if I am not misinformed,
which, by the tenor of his letter, he plainly confesses himself to be,
of having to fork out more than he is able--writes to complain,
forsooth, of "the growing abuse of 'tips' and pocket-money allowance."
This contemptible indigent fellow says:--
"It is within my knowledge that at one of the chief public
schools--and I am told that the same rule holds good at the
other schools of this class--a boy who does not bring back L5
each half is set down by 'the house' as a 'duffer' and as of 'no
use.' In other words, he is under the cold shade of his
fellow-boarders, and is subject to constant and galling
humiliation."
Very well. Let him be off, then. A first-class Public School is no place
for him any more than a first-class carriage. Let the beggar who doesn't
like it, leave it--go second or third class, and be taught the three R's
under FORSTER'S Education Act. But now read what PAVIDUS has the
insolence to say further:--
"It is not every lad that can bear lightly the gibes and jeers
of the young cotton lords whose home ethics teach them to
measure the quality of a gentleman by the amount of money he can
spend. The result is inevitable. The 'soc' shop gives credit. A
loan is soon and easily contracted, and the boy, smarting under
the results of his comparative poverty, begins his career of
debt and deceit in order to hold his own among his more
pecunious fellows."
MR. PAVIDUS, in his pride and poverty, seems very indignant at the idea
of wealthy young cotton lords treating poor young pedigree lords with
contempt. I dare say he is some poor nobleman's relation himself, the
HONOURABLE PAVIDUS, perhaps, or RIGHT HONOURABLE PAVIDUS.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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