Those letters come by messengers dumb-- A hundred thousand a year-- To this room or that, for ghost-clerks to thumb, And be opened, here and there: Who registers? None, all; all, some: Who minutes? Ghost-hands in air. So, registered or unregistered, As haste or hap may be; Minuted or un-minuted, As ghost, or none, may be free; The gathering letters have come to a head That a Phantom Board can see! Alive but one,--Lone LUSHINGTON Among that ghostly five, And all this business to be done-- Needs must when phantoms drive! "Enough to sign," he sighs, "not mine To read, and still survive." And while he signs, and signs, and signs, Its ghost of work upon, In its red-tape toil the navy to coil, The Phantom Board sits on: Essay to seize, your grasp 'twill foil, Looms, shadowy, and is gone! Gone but to meet, in order neat, As ghost-like as before, In the navy blue, and cock'd hat a-slue, That ancient DUNCAN wore, The Phantom First Lord at the head of the Board, And, below, the Phantom Four! Their ghosts of orders they have sped, Their ghosts of minutes they sign; But of ship ill-found, or fleet ill-led The discredit all decline, To the shrill "Not mine!" of their phantom-head, Echoing their "Not mine." JOHN BULL, outside, may groan and gride, May fume and fret at will; If he deems live heads his navy guide, His sea-behests fulfil, The works and the words of these Phantom Lords No wonder he taketh ill. For our ships we know how the sovereigns go. Hard cash in hard hulls should end: Why troop-ships are worked till they rotten grow, We cannot comprehend; Nor why squalls that blow about REID & CO. To the bottom should _Captains_ send. Some day, I think, with a sneeze and a wink, Shocked wide-awake again, JOHN BULL will make free with the Board-room key, Grope his way to the door, and then, Round the Board-screen peep at the ghosts that keep The seats of living men! We wouldn't hold posts among those ghosts-- Nor of Sea, nor of Civil Lord-- That to build JOHN'S ships, and to guard JOHN'S coasts, Have borrowed his shield and sword: If Ghosts _can_ be kicked, kicked out of their posts Will be the PHANTOM BOARD! * * * * * [Illustration: THE "PHANTOM BOARD." MR. BULL. "GHOSTS, BY JINGO!" [_What else did he expect to see at the Admiralty, after_ MR. VERNON LUSHINGTON'S _awful Revelation_?] * * * * * LITERATURE, SCIENCE, AND ART.