* * * * * =Portsmouth or Brighton.= SHALL the Easter Monday Volunteer Review be holden at Brighton or Portsmouth? This question may have been decided in favour of Brighton by the Sovereign, or by the Shilling, which would have done equally well, to determine the choice by a toss-up; and sufficient for that, indeed, would have been "skying a copper." Brighton has downs adapted for the field of military manoeuvres, but so has Portsmouth; and as to either place, whether you regard the neighbourhood or the inhabitants, it is hard to say which is the more downy. * * * * * =No Mistake in the Name.= AS "A Thankoffering from India," a contemporary announces that on account of the recovery of the PRINCE OF WALES, a charitable donation of L200 has been sent to London by MR. COWASJEE JEHANGIER READYMONEY. Anybody would have given MR. READYMONEY credit for having earned his name, and now everybody must see that he well deserves it. Is MR. READYMONEY a Parsee? At any rate, he is the reverse of Parsi-monious. * * * * * [Illustration: THE CONNOISSEURS. _Groom._ "WHEW'S BEER DO YOU LIKE BEST--THIS 'ERE HOM'BREWED O' FISK'S, OR THAT THERE ALE THEY GIVES YER AT THE WHITE HO'S'?" _Keeper_ (_critically_). "WELL, O' THE TEW I PREFERS THIS 'ERE. THAT THERE O' WUM'OODS'S DON'T FARE TO ME TO TASTE O' NAWTHUN AT ALL. NOW THIS 'ERE DEW TASTE O' THE CASK!!"] * * * * * =EDUCATIONAL EPIGRAMS.= I. ABOUT the Three R's views unite As voices blend in song. For the Fourth R, what some hold right, That all folk else deem wrong. Of those Fourth R's as yet while none The right R proved can be, To teach them all, therein where one, Why can't good folk agree? II. Milk is for babes, wrote one that knew. Sectarian Educators, you Who dogmas teach which Doctors question, Are you not giving babes strong meat, So much too tough for them to eat, The upshot must be indigestion? * * * * * AN OBJECT OF SYMPATHY.