O WILLIAM the Daring! O ROBERT the Rash! Though deaf to remonstrance, to caution give ear, Ere high-pressure boiler burst up with a crash, And blow aloft Stoker and hoist Engineer. * * * * * SAD ALTERATION. THE Dramatist has led us to think that "Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast," but the "Heavenly Maid" is not so "young" as she was when CONGREVE wrote, and increasing years seem to have changed her mood and spoiled her temper. What other conclusion can we come to, when we find in an article on "Music" in one of the newspapers, in some comments on the performance of a young lady on the piano at a Monday Popular Concert, the disquieting statement that she "left her mark as usual on the audience, the music, and the piano"? It is some little relief to find the writer adding that "this last was more than once punished severely;" as it is a fair inference to draw, that whatever the sufferings of the piano may have been, the music, and, which is far more important, the audience, escaped with only one assault. The Managers of the Monday Concerts should consider, before it is too late, whether they are not endangering the well-deserved popularity of their agreeable entertainments, by allowing performances which would seem to have rather too striking an effect upon the hearers. * * * * * =Nocens Absolvitur.= THE _South London News_ makes rather an unkind suggestion. Thieves enter tradesmen's shops, under pretence of selling something. The _News_ thinks that people who would be exempt from such visits should "keep watch, and, on opportunity, hand the victims over to the police." This may be fair in South London, wherever that is, but in Fleet Street we do not dispense that kind of justice. * * * * * A HINT TO L. AND B. RAILWAY. THE Real "Nine Hours' Movement"--to Brighton and back for Half-a-Crown. * * * * * [Illustration: TOO MUCH PRESSURE. BOB THE STOKER. "LOR' BLESS YOU, M'NSEER! THAT'S THE WAY _WE_ 'RAISE THE WIND;'--SIMPLEST THING IN THE WORLD!" M. THIERS. "HE, MON AMI! PRENEZ GARDE! HE SHALL 'BLOW UP' ONE DAY!"] * * * * * FRESH. NOT TIGHT. [Illustration: T]HERE is, or was, in this town a Public-house, wherein the administration of justice was, and may still be, wont to be nightly burlesqued by certain buffoons under the name of a Judge and Jury Club. Let us hope that this was the only Court of Law which could possibly have been in the eye of the ATTORNEY-GENERAL when, in the course of his concise oration delivered on behalf of the Infant against the Claimant, he spoke, with reference to the latter, as follows:--