_Kirkstone (rising, and playing with his watch-chain)._ "Sir, whilst listening to the speeches of Honourable Members this evening, I could not help being reminded of a story I heard the other day." (_Here a slight spasm passes over his ample cheeks, and we all settle down in delighted anticipation_). "There was an old farmer--one of the regular old-fashioned sort." (_Faint preliminary chuckle down in_ KIRKSTONE'S _throat_.) "Well, he had a daughter, who--_tchick!_--played on the--_tehee!_--the piano, and one day he was induced to go in for a"--(_convulsion, followed by sounds like the extraction of a very refractory cork_)--"for a Steam-plough! Soon afterwards he happened to meet a friend--another farmer, or the parson, I forget which, and it don't signify. Well, and the friend asked 'how he got on with his Steam-plough.' And the old farmer says--_hork-hork!_--he says, 'Don't talk to me 'bout no Steam-plough--_ki-hee-hee!_--when there's my darter at home, and she--_crick, crick, criggle!_' (KIRKSTONE _proceeds gallantly, but is unintelligible until the close_)--'with her darned pianner--_haw-haw-haw!_' Well, the House can apply the moral of that themselves--I thought it was rather to the point myself. That's all I got up to say." I am afraid KIRKSTONE thinks we are all of us rather dull. * * * * * A DRAMATIC ORATORIO. [Illustration] Mr. FREDERIC H. COWEN'S dramatic Oratorio, _Ruth_, was produced last Thursday at St. James's Hall, and the verdict on the entire work from "bar one" to bar last was emphatically favourable. The Composer has nothing to regret on this score. The workmanship throughout is thoroughly good, and in some instances admirable, though the First Part is not distinguished by any very striking originality. In the Second Part, which begins appropriately with Harvest or "Half-est time," Mr. BOAZ LLOYD gave a very trying _scena_ magnificently. But why does he pronounce "excellent" as "ex_cee_lent?" Perhaps he has ascertained on undeniable authority that this is the way _Boaz_ would have pronounced it. _À propos_ of this eminent tenor, on one occasion, not this, there was very nearly being a duel about his identity. An Irish gentleman, turning to his friend, informed him, "That's SIMS REEVES," whereupon his better informed companion returned, "He! LLOYD!" which, but for a toimely explanation, begorra, would have led to a challenge! To resume. The "Dance of Reapers and Gleaners" must have sounded rather out of place in Worcester Cathedral, where _Ruth_ was first produced. In the Chorus of the Reapers and Gleaners, who were not in the least out of breath with their dance--but perhaps these had only been delighted spectators--full justice was done to the finest number in the Oratorio--at least, so it appeared to the humble individual who had the honour of representing you on this occasion. Then in the duet,