Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, December 10, 1887Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, December 10, 1887
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
* * * * *
A DISPUTED WILL.
DEAR SIR,--Mr. DONNELLY'S cryptogram, showing BACON to be the author of
all SHAKSPEARE'S plays, is a wonderful discovery. The principle only
needs to be applied with sufficient ingenuity and perseverance, to
revolutionise the whole field of literary history. I myself have only
had time to apply it in a few instances, but have already got the really
valuable result that NEGRETTI and ZAMBRA wrote most of the works of
MILTON. DAY and MARTIN LUTHER wrote _Sandford and Merton_, and Sir
WALTER SCOTT wrote the ballad with the refrain "_Two Lovely Black
Eyes_." CHARLES THACKERAY'S works were entirely written by WILLIAM
MAKEPEACE DICKENS. Hence the cryptogrammatic name. I am working as hard
at the theory as the somewhat unelastic rules of this establishment will
permit, and this morning I caught a cryptogram crawling up the
window-pane. Aha! excuse my glove, I must dissemble,
_Colney-Hatchwell_. Yours, THE "B" IN BOTH.
SIR,--You are performing a truly noble and philanthropic work in
throwing open your columns to a subject which must inevitably seem
"_caviare_ to the general" (BACON). To myself, personally, the raising
of the controversy at the present time is annoying, because I happen to
have hit independently on exactly the same idea as Mr. DONNELLY'S; viz.,
that there is an underground narrative running through SHAKSPEARE.
DARWIN and WALLACE, you may remember, discovered the origin of species
simultaneously, so why not I and DONNELLY the origin of SHAKSPEARE? But
my cryptogram leads to an entirely different result from Mr. DONNELLY'S,
who has, I am certain, being led off on a false scent. Instead of
multiplying every 270th word, as he does, by the number of full-stops in
the page, and then dividing the result by the number of years during
which ANNE HATHAWAY is supposed to have resided at Stratford-on-Avon, he
should first have discovered the total quantity of words in all
SHAKSPEARE'S plays and sonnets, and after that the quantity in the
_Novum Organon_; then reducing the probable salary which BACON received
as Lord Chancellor, _each year_, down to farthings, he should have
divided (_not_ multiplied) them all into each other, and brought them to
decimals, and then applied _that_ result to the plays. The process is a
little complicated, but I can't make it clearer at present. Anyhow, the
entrancing interest of the story so obtained can be judged from the
headings of the chapters.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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