Considering my Antecedents, Your Relatives can but Agree; And since I'm Defective in Number, You cannot Decline me, you see. I sigh; but by mere Interjections My Case cannot influenced be: Then grant the Conjunction I plead for, And so with your Subject agree. * * * * * Among the books with which the Prison Authorities should have supplied Mr. O'BRIEN ought to have been a copy of "The Breeches Bible." When he comes out, will he commence a suit against the Government? * * * * * AMERICAN CHORUS. We'll state what we think of your Brummagem JOE. He's "so English you know,"--yes, "so English, you know." * * * * * "THE SLEEPER AWAKENED!" New Cantata, dedicated to the Right Hon. HENRY MATTHEWS, the Not-Yet-Quite-at-Home Secretary. * * * * * PROBABLE PICTURES FOR CHRISTMAS NUMBERS BY SIR J. E. MILLAIS, R.A. (_Suggested by this eminent "Sporting and Dramatic" Artist's "Portia" now being exhibited on all the bookstalls._) [Illustration: LADY MACBETH. "OR ANYBODY ELSE. DOESN'T MATTER. QUITE A----J. E. M."] [Illustration: SHYLOCK; or, The Masher of Venice. "COMPANION PICTURE TO MY 'PORTIA.' A VERY BRILLIANT----J. E. M."] * * * * * THE WOES OF THE WATER CONSUMER. DEAR MR. PUNCH,--What Greek philosopher was it who held that Water was the beginning and essence of all things? Our modern Sanitarians appear to agree with him. At any rate, if they do not look upon water as the great essence, they declare it to be the prime essential, and present fearsome pictures of the results of any deficiency in its plentifulness and purity.