Well do I know that castle, The home of Mr. PYNE; But of the Peelers with their rack There's not a single sign. _The Right-thinking Radical expresses surprise at the intelligence_-- Indeed! But at some high casement Surely you saw him stand, Or out from a towering rampart Waving a mailèd hand? _The Unfeeling Unionist rejoins_-- I _did_ see him at the casement, And he wore no armour at all, But the Postman helps him haul the mail Over his castle wall! _The Right-thinking Radical proceeds with his questionings_-- And sawest thou on the turret How he paced to and fro, All glorious in gold and purple, Like a Knight of long ago? _The Unfeeling Unionist replies_-- He had a modern frock-coat on, Which wasn't much of a fit; And I think a Knight would have stopped to fight, And not run away from a writ. _The Right-thinking Radical plies him once again_-- But do they not thirst, those Peelers, To tear him limb from limb; And level his antique castle, If once they could get at him? _The Unfeeling Unionist ends the colloquy_-- That would not result from his capture; You seem to have been misled! It would merely entail a month in gaol, Or perhaps, like O'BRIEN, in bed. * * * * * In the _Standard's_ report of Mr. LABOUCHERE'S after-dinner speech to the members of the Eleusis Club, the warier of the two Northampton Members observed, "that we lived in critical times, when it was absolutely necessary that Radicals should hang together." Mr. LABOUCHERE speaks trippingly, but he is not often to be caught tripping. The Conservative _Standard_ missed an opportunity. * * * * * LATEST ADDITION TO FAIRY LAND.--Mr. Irish Secretary BALFOUR must be all over the country at once. For this he requires Seven (Land)-League boots. * * * * * THE REAL "EMPIRE OF THE HITTITES."--The prevailing passion for pugilists. * * * * * A sporting tandem-driving Doctor of our acquaintance calls his leader the _Hoss frontis_. * * * * * [Illustration: "'HAD HIM THERE!" _Free Kirk Elder._ "EIGH! MEENISTER, AH NO LIKE T'SEE YE TALKIN' WI' YON EPEESCOPALIAN PRIEST!" _Minister._ "OO--I JEEST OFFERED TO SWAP COLLECTIONS WI'M, AN' HE SAID, 'NA, NA! I KEN YOUR FLOCK OWER WEEL!'"] * * * * * ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. DEAR MR. PUNCH, As an impecunious Peer, whose entire existence consists of one long struggle to provide for the necessities of a large family, need I say that my eye chanced upon the subjoined advertisement with a sense of relief and hopefulness that words almost fail to express? I quote it for your perusal. Here it is:--