SIR,--You are wrong in supposing that the term, "Old Fireworks," was originally applied to myself. I am of opinion, though I speak under a certain amount of correction, not such, however, as my young friend, GRANDOLPH, would like to supply, that the term Old Fireworks was first applied to the celebrated _Mr. Pickwick_, though upon what occasion and by whom I cannot at this moment call to mind. To your second question, as to whether I approve of the conduct of _Mr. Samuel Weller_ in resisting the Head Constable _Grummer_, I should say that, considering the provocation offered, _Mr. Weller_ seems to have acted with remarkable self-restraint. Yours faithfully, G. O. M. P.S. Chips, real good chips, warranted quite dry, and only waiting for a match to set them in a blaze, may now be had at Hawarden Lodge at the ridiculously small charge of three-pence a piece, or two shillings and five-pence halfpenny per dozen. Immediate application personally or by letter is recommended. Also a copy of Nottingham speech and the Mitchelstown telegram, which, should any difficulty be experienced in kindling a bonfire, will at once set the heap into a splendid blaze. My song and chorus-- Remember, remember, The Mitchelstown ember, and so forth, ought to be ready at all respectable music-publishers by November 3rd. 2s. 6d. per copy. Great reduction for clubs, schools, &c. Chips! Chips! in the name of the Profit! Chips! G. O. M. * * * * * [Illustration: "LIKELY TO GET ON IN LIFE." _Papa._ "IF I GIVE YOU SIXPENCE, AND TELL YOU TO BUY FIVE PENNY PAPERS, HOW MUCH CHANGE WILL YOU BRING BACK TO ME?" _Sharp Boy (considering)._ "WELL, PAPA--LET ME SEE--IF YOU GAVE ME SIXPENCE----" _Papa._ "YES--YES. HOW MUCH CHANGE TO BRING BACK TO ME?" _Sharp Boy (readily, and with decision)._ "NONE--NOT IF YOU GAVE ME THE SIXPENCE!" [_Papa determines to put the question in a different way next time._ ] * * * * * TO THE INCOMPLETE (POLITICAL) ANGLER. O BRUMMAGEM JOSEPH, my boy, will you halt on Your sturdy, but scarce diplomatical way, And take from an ancient disciple of WALTON A few friendly hints about patience and "play"? As an Angler you have _Mr. Punch's_ best wishes, But _do_ you consider it wise, ere you start To throw stones in the water, and stir up the fishes? That's scarcely the right piscatorial art. No, stillness and silence, and delicate tact, Sir, Are needed for handling the rod and the reel. You may pelt and may splash, but you'll find it a fact, Sir, Who frightens the fishes will not fill his creel. *** HADWICE GRATIS.--The Vaudeville Theatre announces a new play by Mr. ENERY HAUTHOR JONES, called _Heart of Hearts_. To popularise it for Town use, much better call it _'Art of 'Arts_ at once. ***