Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 1, 1887 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 1, 1887Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 1, 1887
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
He was answered with laughter!
Then he returned to his chair, rather put out at this ill-timed
pleasantry, and listened once more to the arguments of his colleagues.
They had got beyond the verdict now, and were discussing the "riders."
The first, elaborately blaming the Magistrates, had been framed and
passed, and the second dealing with the bye-laws of the Town Council was
under consideration. Before it was finally settled the clock struck
three!
Yes, three! and since twenty-minutes to one he had been locked in
lunchless! He went to the door and beat it with his fists!
"Might he have a cut off the joint?"
"No!"
Again he was silent, and again his colleagues continued their
discussion. They spoke in lower tones now, because they too were feeling
the want of food. Four struck, and then five.
He staggered once more to the door, and in piteous tones made a last
request,
Might he have a sandwich?
No!!!!!
It was too much! He ground his teeth in rage! Five hours had elapsed,
and then the last and eighth rider, suggesting that after its final
completion a theatre should be thrown open for public inspection for a
week before a licence was granted, was passed. The work of the Jury was
over.
It was indeed a painful scene. The eleven men who had taken part in the
discussion were entirely exhausted. Some were slumbering from weakness,
others were wearily "talking on their fingers." Hunger had made these
last absolutely dumb. Reams of papers were scattered about covered with
writing. Here and there was a quill-pen partly consumed. Even the
blotting-pads testified to the presence of hungry men--some of the
leaves showed the traces of a stealthy nibble. In the heat of argument
hours before, a juryman, anxious to impress an opinion upon a sceptic
colleague, had offered to "eat his hat." He now gazed at the head-gear
with greedy eyes, as if anxious to carry out his proposition.
The Foreman, in a whisper, asked if anyone had any further suggestions
to make.
Then the rage of the starving one gave him fictitious strength. He stood
up, and shrieked out, "I express my opinion that the non-supply of
refreshments to the Jury for several hours is a blot on the legal system
of the country!"
In a moment the Foreman and his colleagues sprang to their feet, and,
making a supreme effort, shouted out, "Agreed! agreed! agreed!"
And what further did these poor famished men, these heroes of the long,
foodless day, these martyrs to a cruel system--a wretched system--these
victims to an abuse that should be swept away like chaff before the
wind--ay, what farther did they do after their trumpet-tongued cry of
indignant denunciation?
Why (it is to be sincerely hoped) that they went home and had their
dinner!
THE BICYCLISTS OF ENGLAND.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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