I have been strolling with him on the sands, where he has already found several of his acquaintance. He _will_ introduce me to all of them. Hearty, high-spirited fellows, full of rough but genuine British humour. From the manner in which they all inquire "How my bumps are getting on," I infer they were amongst Professor SKITTLES' audience the other day. But they mean to be friendly enough--I must not let them see how they annoy me.... It is absurd to be stiff at Starmouth. * * * * * THE TYMPANUM. (_A Remonstrance at a Railway Station._) _The_ tympanum! The tympanum! Oh! who will save the aural drum By softening to some gentler squeak The whistle's shrill _staccato_ shriek? Oh! Engine-driver, did you know How your blast smites one like a blow, An inward shock, a racking strain, A knife-like thrust of poignant pain, Whilst groping through the tunnel murk You would not with that fiendish jerk Let out that _sudden_ blast of steam Whose screaming almost makes _us_ scream. Thy whistle weird perchance may be A sad and sore necessity, But cannot Law and sense combine To--well, in short, to draw the line?-- Across the open let it shrill From moor to moor, from hill to hill, But in the tunnel's crypt-like gloom, The Station's cramped reverberant room, A gentler, _graduated_ blast! Do let it loose, whilst dashing past, So shall it spare us many a pang; That dread explosive bursting "bang" Which nearly splits the aural drum, The poor long-suffering tympanum! * * * * * NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception. TRANSCRIBER NOTES: On page 149, a period was added after "by a long way". On page 149, a period was added after "he feels, afford them".