_Countryman._ "FI' POUNDS TOO MUCH FOR HIM? HE'S A WON'ERFUL GOOD SPORTIN' DAUG, SIR! WHY HE COME TO A DEAD PINT IN THE STREET, SIR, CLOSE AG'IN A OL' GEN'LEMAN, THE OTHER DAY--'FUST O' SEPTEMBER IT WAS, SIR!--AN' THE GEN'LEMAN TOLD ME ARTERWARDS AS HIS NAME WERE 'PARTRIDGE'!" _Customer._ "YOU DON'T SAY SO!" [_Bargain struck!_ * * * * * "PAYING THEIR SHOT." A PARTY of excursionists from the Tyne thought it a pleasant way of spending a Bank-holiday to go wantonly shooting swarms of sea-birds on the Farne Islands. When remonstrated with by the more humane man in charge, they considered it still greater "sport" to threaten to push an oar down his throat, and make a target of him. These sportive souls indeed managed amongst them to "hit his felt hat and graze his left thumb" with shot. But when 239 of them were summoned under the Wild Birds Act, and had to pay fines and expenses to the tune of some £70, they probably modified their notion of the nature and claim of "Sport," and found that "paying the shot" in that sense was the least pleasant part of shooting. Some of them were probably left without "a shot in the locker." A few more such wholesome lessons, and the "Cad with a Gun," the "Brute with a Double-Barrel," may no longer be found depopulating Nature's feathered preserves and disgracing the name of honest Sport. * * * * * SALUBRITIES ABROAD. AT last I have seen him!--the travelling Englishman, the English Milord of the French Farce--"Oah, c'est moa!" of the _Journal Comique_. * * * * * But if the farce Milord is grotesque, the English "Mees" is equally ridiculous. I met, the other day, a lady of Albion, who was strutting about with an enormous "handled" _pince-nez_ raised to her eyes, while she expressed her opinion "that those foreigners really _do_ dress _so_ absurdly!" * * * * * _Diary of a Day._--At all these Stations Thermales the pleasantest hours of the day are sacrificed to the interests of the band, the casinos, the cercle, and the evening amusements. _Les Baigneurs sérieux_ ought not to require any amusement after 9·30, and by ten they should be in bed. Their hours for walking and other exercise should be very early in the morning, or late in the evening before dinner. The remainder of the day should be given up to baths, to drinking waters, _déjeuner à la fourchette_, and rest. [Illustration: "L'Anglais pour rire."] [Illustration: Mees "O'Shocking!"] * * * * *