No, we ain't performin' to-day, Sir, and the boys are all on the gape At seem' the mice in mournin', and the cats in chokers o' crape; But I'm giving the Show a rest, d'ye see? for I didn't feel up to the job, (_Pause--then subdued_) For my leadin' comejian's left me, Sir-- (_Explanatory, perceiving you are not understood_)--the brindle kinairy--(_more impatiently_) Bob! What, ye don't remember? (_Surprise._) Not him as wore the toonic o' Turkey red? What rode in a gilded kerridge with a 'at an' plumes on his 'ed? And, as soon as we'd taken a tanner, 'ud fire a saloot from the gun? [_Excitedly._ There was Talent inside o' that bird, there was, or I never see it in one! (_Philosophic bitterness._) Well, he's soon forgot--but I've often thought as a _fish_ keeps longer than Fame! (_Sudden comprehension and restored cordiality._) Oh, ye didn't know him as _Bob_?... I see--no, that were his _private_ name. I used to announce him in public on a more long-winded-er scale-- I christened him "Gineral Moultky," (_apologetically_) which he _'ad_ rather gone at the tail; And a bird more popilar never performed on a peripathetic stage, He was allers sure of a round of applause as soon as he quitted the cage! For he thoroughly hentered into the part he was down for to play, And he never got "fluffy" nor "queered the pitch,"--leastwise, till the hother day. I thought he'd bin hoverexertin' hisself, and 'ud better be out of the bill, But it wasn't till yesterday hevenin I'd any ideer he was _ill_! Then I see he was rough on the top of his 'ed, and his tongue looked dry at the tip, And it dawned on me like a thunderbolt--"Great Evings!" I groaned,--"THE PIP!" (_Pause here, to emphasise the tremendous gravity of this discovery._) Well, I _'ad_ bin trainin' a siskin to hunderstudy the part, (_more ordinary tone for this_) And I sent him on--(_tolerantly_)--which he done his best, but he 'adn't no notion o' _Hart_! So I left the pitch as soon as I could, and (meanin' to make more 'aste) I cut across one o' them buildin' sites as was left a runnin' to waste. There was yawning pits by the flinty road, as rendered the prospeck dull, And 'ere and there a winderless 'ouse, with the look of a grinning skull, (_Try to paint this scene visibly for the audience; background is essential for what is to come._) A storm had bin 'anging about all day (and it _broke_, you'll remember, at last!) So I 'urried on, it was gettin' late--and the Gineral sinking fast! (_You are now approaching the harrowing part, but keep yourself in reserve for the present._) But all on a sudding I 'eard him give a kind of a feeble flap,