It is hoped that, by some spirited reforms in the direction indicated above, the University that, from the fashion in which it has dealt with the Chair of Poetry, appears indeed to be out at elbows, may survive the financial crisis in which it is evidently involved. * * * * * CHANNEL TALK. _Arranged for the use of the returning British Passenger at Breakfast-time. By a very Dyspeptic Contributor._ It is a glorious thing to think that one is leaving France and all foreign kickshaws behind one, and is once more approaching dear honest old England on the deck of a British steamer. But let us come into the cabin and have a bit of breakfast before we get in. Surely that table covered with a dirty sheet instead of a tablecloth is not prepared for our repast? Why, this stale loaf must have been on board quite a week. It has evidently made several passages backwards and forwards in company with this extremely remarkable sample of butter. Why does this coffee the Steward has just brought us look like ink and sawdust, and taste like something perplexing? The Frenchman, who has been expecting _déjeuner à la fourchette_, is surveying with astonishment the dish of mutton-chops they have set down before him. It is a great pity that they are all two inches thick, and are underdone when cut. I wonder whether he is thinking, as I am, of the clean, fresh, and trim _restaurant_ table, the excellent _café au laít, petits-pains_, Normandy butter, and other "foreign kickshaws," that he has just left behind him in France. Though he has had to pay three shillings for his hot breakfast, he has informed me that he will wait till he arrives, and take "_le lunch_" on shore. I wonder whether he is aware that, if he makes this meal at the typical Refreshment-Room, he will have to content himself with stale sponge-cakes, the day-before-yesterday's buns, and small tins of lemon-drops. But let us get out of the Cabin. I certainly prefer the deck of an excellent steamer to the arrangements made for providing one with breakfast down below. * * * * * A QUESTION OF POLICE. "The rapid increase both of buildings and population which has taken place in the Metropolitan Police district of late years has outrun the increase which it has been possible to make to the Police Force."--_Sir Charles Warren, in his Official Reports, 1885, 1886._ "The average applications for admission to the Metropolitan Police Force now amount to one hundred per diem." _Statistics, October, 1887._ [Illustration: _Sergeant Punch (inspecting would-be ex-Unemployed)._ "SO, MY LAD, YOU WANT TO BE A CONSTABLE! RATHER ENFORCE THE LAW THAN BREAK IT, EH? THAT'S RIGHT! HEM! THE FORCE HAS LONG BEEN UNDERMANNED. WE MUST SEE IF WE CAN'T MAKE ROOM FOR YOU!"] * * * * *