_November 3._--Whole Police Force disabled by angry mob armed with bludgeons and revolvers. Sympathetic Alderman at Mansion House ventures to ask Government if "matters are not really going a little too far," and is ducked in Thames. All the West-End shops in-wested by looters. _November 4._--Prime Minister declares that "much as he regrets the depression of trade and want of employment, yet he thinks that on the whole, recent proceedings have not been quite creditable to Capital City of Empire." Military called out, and streets cleared in no time. Ringleaders of mob arrested, and given a year's imprisonment with hard labour. Trafalgar Square railed round and planted with prickly cactus. Business resumed and confidence restored. Government begins to think of a Bill to deal with _real_ London grievances--such as rack-rents, slum-dwellings, and foreign pauper labour. [_And high time too!_ * * * * * A CLOUD OF YACHTS.--The account of the British owner published last week, confirms the notion that the much-talked-of superiority of the _Thistle_ over the _Volunteer_ was mere vapouring. This is not surprising. All that could be appropriately expected from such a weed was smoke! * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S PARALLELS. No. 3. [Illustration: DON CHAMBERLAIN QUIXOTE AND SANCHO JESSE PANZA. _Sancho Panza (to himself)._ "I CANNOT HELP IT,--FOLLOW HIM I MUST: I HAVE EATEN HIS BREAD, I LOVE HIM: ABOVE ALL I AM FAITHFUL."--_Don Quixote_, Part ii., Book iii., Ch. xxxiii.] * * * * * THE NEW QUIXOTE. _Fragments from a forthcoming Romance of (Political) Chivalry and (Party) Knight-Errantry._ *** The age of our gentleman bordered upon fifty years. He was of a strong constitution, spare-bodied, of a keen, not to say hatchet-like visage, a very early (and rapid) riser, and a lover of the orchid. *** His judgment being somewhat obscured, he was seized with one of the strangest fancies that ever entered the head of any naturally astute person. This was a belief that it behoved him, as well for the advancement of his own glory as the service of his country, to become a knight-errant (though, indeed, there was, perhaps, about him more of the errant than the knightly), and traverse the northern parts of Hibernia, armed and mounted, in quest of adventures, redressing every species of grievance save such as were not found in his own list, or "programme," which latter, indeed, he would by no means admit to be "grievances" at all. The poor gentleman imagined himself to be at least crowned Autocrat of Orangeia by the valour of his arm; and thus wrapt in these agreeable illusions, and borne away by the extraordinary pleasure he found in them, he hastened to put his design into execution.