I've got such a hoddible cold id by head, Upod by word, I wish I was dead; I really thig I shall go to bed, Ad tallow by doze, as the Doctor said; He's cubig agaid this afterdood; Why, it's half-past three, he'll be here sood, Ad gib me sub bore of his beastly drugs, Ad tell me to keep warb udder the rugs. Achoo! Achoo! Oh! what shall I do? I've coughed ad sdeezed till I'be dearly blue, Ad by doze is so sore, I card blow it bore, It feels as tedder as if it was raw; Subbody told be he'd heard of sub stuff Which you'd odely to sdiff, ad that was eduff; What did he call it? Alkarab, I'll sedd for sub--I suppose it's a shab-- They always are. Achoo! Achoo! I thig I'be dyig! Oh! what shall I do? Yes, this is the stuff that fellow said Was sure to cure a cold id the head; Two or three sdiffs the beggar swore Would bake you as well as you were before. (_He sniffs._) Upod my soul, I believe he's right, I'be gettig better--it's wonderful quite, I albost feel as if I bight Go out and dide at the Club to-dight. (_He continueth sniffing._) I really will, I feel quite well, As fresh as a rose, and as sound as a bell, And I'll always swear that the only balm For a cold in the head is Alkaram. "Here, JOHN, put out my evening clothes." I'll take my grub To-night at the Club. Soup, fish, and a bird, with a pint of Larose, I think that ought to complete the cure, And make assurance double sure. Achoo! Hullo! Why here's a go! Achoo! Atishoo! Oh dear! Oh dear! It's all begiddig agaid, I fear; You card get rid of a cold like bide By sbellig a bottle of bedicide! Soup ad fish! it's absurd, Or to thigk of a bird, When you card prodoudce a siggle word, Ad as for Larose, the tipple for be Is a cup of boilig lidseed tea. I'll go to bed, Ad wrap a red Welsh fladdel baddage roud by head, Ad stay at hobe for a budth at least, Till this beastly widd's do logger East. _South Kedsigtod._ * * * * * PRO BONO PUBLICO. [Illustration] A Mob-Cap was once upon a time a picturesque finish to a pretty face, and it was of home-manufacture. Now the Mob-Cap is a red abomination, typical of bloodshed and crime, of foreign make, and is mis-called the Cap of Liberty, which, properly translated, is the Cap of Licence. It certainly is not "The Cap of Maintenance," as it is adopted by those who would disdain work, even if it were offered them.