"The measurement of this brain is rather below the average," says the lecturer, forbearingly. "Here we have a brain measuring only eighteen and three-quarter inches. A very tall and narrow head. You would find that this gentleman arrives at his ideas without conscious reflection, or exercise of thought." (_'ARRY looks gratified._) "He takes a strong and deep interest in religious subjects." (_Derisive "hor-hor!" from 'ARRY._) "Language strong. He will find no difficulty in putting what he wishes to say into language with considerable fluency, though perhaps not with much variety. Great Firmness and Benevolence. The Moral Brain is large, and your moral standard"--("_My_ what?" _interrupts 'ARRY, with a suspicious cock of his eye_)--"Your moral standard is high." ("Right!" _says 'ARRY, mollified, and séance terminates_.) These delineators certainly put things very agreeably. One might get some useful hints, too. If Professor SKITTLES could tell me whether I am most poetic, or witty, or dramatic, I should know exactly what to aim at in my Nautical Drama. I have never been able to decide which I love the best--TENNYSON, MILTON, or CAMPBELL. And, after what he found to say about 'ARRY----but it is all so very public, I don't think I _could_ bring myself to do it--I will go on.... [Illustration: Cam-belle.] I hardly know exactly how I came here--but here I am on the platform, sitting in the Professor's chair. He is measuring me with a sliding scale, the brass end of which feels cold against my forehead. Curious sensation, as if I was upside down at a Bootmaker's. Sun in my eyes. Tittering from girls on benches in front. A party of Blazers has just come up--I fear in a frivolous spirit. Begin to wish now I had had this done privately. * * * * * THE LAND OF THE 'ARRY'UNS.--'Am'stead 'Eath. * * * * * [Illustration] NOTICE.--Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.