Writhe as you will, I have you at my mercy. BALDWIN MCASSIR, have we met at last? [_In a terrible voice._ You know me not?--then quail, for I am he By you bereft of BANDOLINA'S love! Fear not that I would stoop to seek your life-- My vengeance shall be sated on your hair, And that is doomed to perish past recall! Cast up your eyes to yonder whirling wheel: [_Point to ceiling with air of command._ Then on this brush--'tis set with bristling wires (Some frivoller termed it my _Cheveux de Frizz_), Which, with revolving teeth, shall shortly rake Those curls by BANDOLINA oft caressed, [_With a cold sneer._ You like the prospect? I have fluids here-- "Elixirs to evolve the latent hair," With others, christened (in some franker mood) "Depilatory Agents,"--scarce less potent: Upon your helpless head I'll pour them _all_! (_Arm raised--savage and threatening aspect._) Nay, smile not thus defiance through your gag-- I swear to lay that haughty crest so low, That never shall it soar in pride again! Enough of words--to action!... Still that smile-- So bitter, yet so calm--it maddens me, I'll stay my hand no longer!-- (_violent plunge with right arm--after which you recoil and seem to gaze aghast at some object you are holding_) --juggling fiend! Was _this_ the secret of your dauntless port? And could my practised eye be so deceived? (_In a tone of lofty and dignified resignation._) Yet, seeing I am thus forestalled by Fate, I do renounce my purpose--since I must: Take back your wig, MCASSIR, go in peace. [_Bitter scorn._ Stay--while, in token that my heart is changed, I coax it into comeliness anew. Permit me to unloose you--you are free, And owe me but a trifle--eighteenpence, [_Mournfully._ Pay at the counter as you pass without. (_Here you are supposed to watch your rival's exit with a gloomy scowl._) Thus ends my vengeance as some idle dream, Yet no--'tis but deferred, with interest! (_You conclude with a bitter apostrophe to your intended victim._) Back to your BANDOLINA, plumaged daw! Be bald, but resolute, in your disguise, Till haply on her honeymoon she learns How you have drawn her with that single hair, And I may be avenged! Till then, adieu! (_Stalk gloomily off, and allow somebody else to remove the chair._) * * * * *