In Professor SKITTLES' chair--with the sun in my eyes. He has not begun to read my character yet; he is still measuring--with tape this time. I must say he takes great pains. Blazer contingent has moved up closer; they pretend to recognise me as "Cousin BILL." Take no notice of them--try to fix my thoughts far away--on ETHEL DERING. How pretty she looked that night! Wonder, if I had plucked up my courage and spoken, whether she might not have----However, I didn't, and she couldn't. How full is life of these missed opportunities! ("You're leaving out his nose, Guv'nor!" from a Blazer, and giggles from idiotic girls in front.) I feel very forlorn and friendless up here. Professor has finished measuring, and is preparing to "delineate" me. Cross my legs, and compose myself to listen seriously. ("Cheer up, Sir; he'll tell you when he's going to 'urt you!" _yelps a beast in the background_.) "Here we 'ave a gentleman," says the Professor, passing his hand along the top of my head, "in some respects rather a contrast to our last subject." (_I should hope so, indeed!_) "This gentleman's 'ed is the second largest we have had under examination to-day." ("'Ear-'ear!" _from the Blazers, and a meaningless suggestion that I should_ "make a good 'atter!") "His Mental Brain is scarcely so large as we might expect; in fact, if the development of the lower brain were in proportion, we should find the gentleman--well, I _was_ going to say, an idiot. Fortunately the brain, though not tall, is wide. He has Firmness, Energy, and what we call Driving Power, very large. This is a very curious gentleman"--("Oughter be stuffed!" _puts in a ruffian, and everybody laughs--even the Professor--confound him!--smiles indulgently_.) "He likes to go everywhere, and see everything. He can sit down to a good dinner, and enjoy it." (_Shouldn't have thought that a rare characteristic--but it delights the audience._) "His Self-Esteem is large." (_There he is quite wrong--I haven't nearly_ enough!) "Acquisitiveness also large; this gentleman believes in getting the full value for his money." (_Don't believe I shall get it here, at all events!_) "He is very cheerful and social." ("Don't he _look_ it, too!" _from a Blazer, and, of course, roars of laughter._) "In fact, if he were a little _less_ social, it would be better." (_This to me--who have come down here for absolute seclusion. This Professor is a fool!_) "He will be fond of his children and of his wife." ("And can't she comb his 'air for him!" _from the usual quarter_. _I am a bachelor, and this sort of thing is getting scandalous._) Professor says, "I must appeal to this gentleman's friends"--(_this gentleman's "friends!"_)--"to keep a little more quiet while we are delineating. There is very small Eventuality--we should like to see a little more Eventuality--he must try to cultivate his Eventuality." (_Indeed? Perhaps he will kindly tell me how I am to