Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, September 3, 1887Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 93, September 3, 1887
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
In Commons at hour for commencing public business barely a quorum
present. Both Front Bench and Treasury Bench vacant. GEORGE BALFOUR,
always ready to throw himself into breach, took possession of seat of
Leader of Opposition, and calmly gazed across table. Never should it
be said as long as he had seat in House that Liberals were as sheep
without a shepherd. Few Members on back benches visibly brightened up
at sight of veteran volunteer.
Only a few questions, but unwonted difficulty in getting through them.
Some cases the questioner not present. In others Minister addressed
not yet arrived. MCARTHUR had question down pretty early in list.
SPEAKER called upon him. No response. Went on to next question.
Quarter of an hour later, all other questions run through. MCARTHUR
coming in put his question to Parliamentary Secretary for Foreign
Affairs. FERGUSSON, who had also just arrived, supposing that MCARTHUR
had put question in due course, apologised to him for not having been
in his place; whereat House laughed uproariously. Very grateful in
these times for anything that looks like joke.
P. STANHOPE brought under notice of Home Secretary case of
enterprising parish constable in North Hunts. P.C., a supporter of Her
Majesty's Government, resented Liberal candidate presenting himself
before constituency. Determined he should not be heard. Brought down
enormous rattle; swung it about throughout candidate's speech. JOSEPH
GILLIS pricked up his ears. What a notion this would be for adaptation
to Parliamentary usage! Suppose he had rattle and swung it whilst
SAUNDERSON or JOHNSTON were speaking? Will consult SPEAKER as to how
far this would be in order. HOME SECRETARY declined to be responsible
for either parish constable or his rattle.
_Business done._--Votes on Supply.
_Tuesday._--Lords sat ten minutes to-night. Home to dinner, with sense
of deserving well of country.
Commons at work again in Supply. Considered Vote for Science and Art
Department, South Kensington. CAVENDISH-BENTINCK contributed one or
two speeches of great interest. Thin attendance, and prevalent air
of lassitude. But, whilst on legs, C.-B. riveted attention. Very
indignant with neglect of Art in common life. Old Members accustomed
to Right Hon. Gentleman's little trick, of which he is sole
repository. But new Members tremble, and grow pale, as, when
denouncing any person or practice, Right Hon. Gentleman mysteriously
raises his hair till it stands on end. Once this phenomenon came
about when he denounced certain weighing-machines, which, he said, had
recently been put up at London railway stations. Tops of this machine,
he said, were supported by two columns, one supposed to be Ionic, and
the other Doric.
"As matter of fact," said C.-B., his hair slowly uprising, "they're
neither one thing nor the other, but simply German!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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