How can the Childe's poetic shade refuse To plead his cause, on his base foe make war? Perchance redemption from a phantom Muse, Whose voice now faintly echoes from afar, May come, and check his sordid conqueror's car, E'en in its roll of victory, snatch the reins, From Greed's foul hands and further havoc bar, Say, _shall_ the Penny Steamer's petty gains, Banish the Gondolier, and hush his cheery strains? * * * * * [Illustration: TENDER PASSAGES. _He_ (_tenderly_). "YES; WHEN IT'S DONE AGAIN, YOU MUST REALLY SEE THE BLONDIN DONKEY!" _She_ (_sincerely_). "I WILL. I'LL LOOK OUT FOR IT, AND, WHEN I DO SEE IT, I WILL THINK OF _YOU_!!"] * * * * * VIRTUES OF OMISSION. PEOPLE--Mr. IMPREY, Mr. GEORGE SMITH (of Coalville), and others--are actually to be found contending for the barren honour of having invented that terrible nuisance of a catch-phrase, "Three Acres and a Cow!" Strange and morbid perversion of ambition! As well fight for the deep discredit of having been the first to hit upon such kindred controversial horrors as the boring and question-begging "gags" of "Law and Order," "Patriot first, and Party-man afterwards," "Hand over to the tender mercies, &c.," "Disintegration of the Empire," or even that most hackneyed of political phrases, "Grand Old Man" itself. Now, if any one took credit to himself for never, never having uttered the "Acre and Cow" Shibboleth, or made use of any others of these soul-sickening bits of polemical claptrap, _Mr. Punch could_ understand, and admire, and envy. There be things that _everybody_--possessed of sense and sobriety--would "rather not have said." * * * * * THE WAY OF THE WIND. _By an anxious Unionist._ [Mr. T. W. RUSSELL has formally withdrawn from the Unionist Party.] Ah! sorely tossed is our poor "Union" bark, We shall not get to port without a tussle. They say the wind will change against us. Hark! That wind seems rising; I can hear its RUSSELL. * * * * * A FIGHT FOR THE FORTY.--Sir EDWARD HAMLEY is, admittedly, one of the greatest strategists the British Army possesses. Although in the prime of life, this gallant officer will be "automatically retired," unless he receives a military appointment before the end of October. It has been suggested that he should be employed to work out a scheme for the protection of London. This will be far easier work for him to do than to have to frame a defence of the Government that has so long, and so strangely, and (some say) so maliciously overlooked him. * * * * * CON: FOR THE CONSIDERATE.--Why is Happiness like an Act of Parliament? Because you can never tell its value until it is passed. * * * * * ALL IN PLAY. DEAR MR. PUNCH, [Illustration]