Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, 1890.05.10Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, 1890.05.10
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
In a gloomy and inaccessible cavity, situated in the diaphragm of the
human body in which he had made his home, stood the last of the Bacilli.
His friends and his brothers, the companions of his innocent childhood,
the associates of his boyish days, his fellow-adventurers in manhood's
prime--all, all had perished. Some had been ruthlessly hunted down by a
skilled body of German assassins; others had died under the cruel
attacks of the pestilent Frenchman. The Cholera Bacillus, the king of
them all, was the first to fall; typhoid and typhus, small-pox and
measles, fits of convulsions or of sneezing, coughs and catarrhs, had
all been deprived of Bacilli and slain. The Wart Bacillus had fought
hard and maintained himself for a long time on a precarious footing of
fingers and thumbs; but he too had been extirpated. The Thirst Bacillus
had given up the ghost yesterday, after keeping up for years a guerilla
warfare disguised either as a green rat or a striped snake. And now the
mighty Hunger Bacillus stood alone, gloomy and defiant. But he knew his
hour had come. "Better death," he shouted, "than the microscope!" and
with these words drew his sword and dashed forth into the darkness.
There was a yell, followed by the sound of steel beaten against steel,
then a blood-curdling gurgle, and all grew still.
"He was a gallant scoundrel, but my quick _riposte_ confused him,"
observed Signor SUCCI, who entered the apartment, wiping his blade on
the advertisement of a new beef-essence, and taking copious draughts of
his elixir.
Thus died, as he had lived, dismal, desperate, degraded, the Hunger
Bacillus, the last of his race.
(_From another Column of the same Paper._)
We rejoice to hear that the Act for making Succination compulsory is to
be energetically enforced. Public Succinators have now been appointed to
every district, and every parent omitting to have the operation
performed upon his infant within two months after birth is to be
rigorously prosecuted. Henceforth, as we may remind our readers, anybody
"complaining of hunger shall be liable on conviction to be imprisoned
for not less than six calendar months, with or without hard labour." We
quote the words of clause 3 of the Act.
* * * * *
[Illustration: ALLOWED TO STARVE.
THE SUCCESSFUL FASTING-MAN.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: ONE OF THE SIX HUNDRED!!!]
* * * * *
OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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