Those who have carefully read the remarks which I have thought it my duty to make in these columns from time to time, must have reaped a golden harvest at Newmarket last week. It is not easy, of course, in these milk-and-water days to say what one means in sufficiently plain words. Personally, I have always been mild in my language, and have often been reproached on this score. But I have always found it possible, without using vulgar and exaggerated abuse, to express the contempt which, in common with every right-minded man, I feel for the grovelling herd of incompetent boobies, whose minds are as muddy as the Rowley Mile after a thunderstorm. _Surefoot_ was always a favourite of mine. Two months ago I said, "if _Surefoot_ can only face the starter for the Two Thousand firmly, he will probably get off well, and ought not to be far behind the first six at the finish. As to _Le Nord_, though he is not my colour, he is not likely to be last." Only a mooncalf, with a porridge-bowl instead of a head, could have mistaken these remarks. So Sir THOMAS CHUCKS has joined the ranks of aristocratic owners. Here is a chance for the dilly-dallying professors of humbug to distinguish themselves. What can be expected from a stable which always runs its trials at one o'clock in the morning, with nobody but Mr. JEREMY to look on? No doubt we shall hear all about it in the columns which Mr. J. devotes to the edification of dough-faced, gruel-brained noodles who accept him as their prophet. _Catawampus_ ran well last week. With two stone less and a Calyx-eyed saddle-bar, he would have shown up even better. Whenever the barometer goes up two points _Catawampus_ must be remembered. He was foaled in a ditch on the old North Road, somewhere between London and York, and having remained there or thereabouts for a month, may be considered a good stayer. * * * * * THE EMPIRE IN THE TIME OF SEVERUS.--Wonderful Juggler at the Empire, with a name that's not to be trifled with, SEVERUS. Some nights he may be better than on others, but you'll be delighted if you just catch him in the Juggler vein. * * * * * The Over-rated Rate-payers who fear the rising of the Rates more than almost any other rising, express a hope that the L. C. C. will be economical, and that FARRER may be "Nearer." * * * * * [Illustration: UNCERTAINTIES OF ARITHMETIC. _Schoolmaster._ "YES; BUT LOOK HERE, MY BOY. SUPPOSE I WERE TO LEND YOUR FATHER _FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS_, LET US SAY,--WITHOUT INTEREST,--BUT ON CONDITION THAT HE SHOULD PAY ME TEN POUNDS A WEEK. HOW MUCH WOULD HE STILL OWE ME IN TWO MONTHS?" _New Boy._ "FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS, SIR!" _Schoolmaster._ "TUT! TUT! MY BOY, YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST PRINCIPLES OF ARITHMETIC!" _New Boy._ "_YOU_ DON'T KNOW _MY FATHER_, SIR!"] * * * * * PRIMROSE'S PEEP-SHOW.