There, Mr. HAVERSTOCK, you see I _haven't_ forgotten! though we're rather late, and we shall have to drive back directly to dress--we're dining out this evening, you know. What a nice studio! small, of course, but then you don't want a large room, do you? What a quantity of pictures! How you must have worked! If you send in so many, one of them's _sure_ to get in, _isn't_ it? Still, I should have thought that if you had painted only one or two, and taken great pains with _them_, it might--oh, most of them are your friend's? and only _these_ two yours? Well, no doubt you are quite right not to be too ambitious. Why, this is quite charming--really _quite_ charming, isn't it, EUGENIA? Oh, I quite understand it isn't _yours_, Mr. HAVERSTOCK. I suppose your friend has been painting much longer than you have? No? _really!_ Younger, is he? but some people have a natural turn for it, haven't they? Have you had many visitors this afternoon? Ah, well, they will come some day, I daresay. Now I'm going to be very rude, and make a suggestion. Perhaps if you burnt one or two pastilles, or those Japanese joss-sticks, you know,--they're quite cheap--you'd get rid of some of the smell of the paint and the cigarettes--or is it _pipes_? Oh, _I_ don't mind it, you know, but some do.... Poor dear fellow, I'm afraid he'll never get on. And _what_ a pig-stye to paint in! Well, I'm glad I've done my duty, EUGENIA. Mind you remember all the places we've been to. Home, please, CHANDLER. * * * * * ROBERT'S COMMISHUNS. [Illustration] I ain't bin quite so owerwhelmed with my warious Comisshuns from my lucky winners on the Boat Race as I hexpected to be, but the werry smallest on 'em is allus welcome. I rayther think as "S. B." who enclosed me a Post Order for 1_s._ 6_d._, must have bin mistaken as to the price of my Book, which it is 2_s._ 6_d._, so with that and the thrippence for Postage, I didn't git much out of "S. B.," but I thanks him for his kind intentions. The Gent who wrote from Tattersall's, and sined hisself "THE RIVER PLUNGER," and enclosed me two bad harf-crowns, I must leave to his hone cowardly conshence, and the arrowing reflexun that he werry nearly got me into trubbel when I tried to pass one on 'em at our nayburing Pub. Luckily, my rayther frequent wisits to that most useful mannerfactory has made me werry well known there, so I was aloud to correct my littel mistake. The last letter which I has jest receeved is as follers:-- "GOOD OLD BOB! "COLNEY HATCH, _April 1st_. "I won 2 tenners on the Boat Race, thanks to your straight tip, one on Cambridge, and one on Oxford, so I enclose you your Commission of 20_s._ Yours truly, UNCLE DICK." Wood it be beleeved, the check was drawn upon Thames Bank! But there, I must dress for my purfeshnal dooties. ROBERT. * * * * * MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES. AUCTIONEERING.