Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 12, 1890Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 98, April 12, 1890
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Pleased meditation broken in upon by a murmur growing into hilarious
shout. Unruly mob pressed around him laughing and jeering; wild with
delight. Truth suddenly dawned on CHAPLIN. Had in perturbation of
moment, walked into wrong Lobby. Got in with Radical mob. No way out; no
help for it; Vote must be recorded against estimates, against his
colleagues in the Government, against keeping up Hampton Court, and in
despite of the Gracious Sovereign of whom, a short hour ago, he had been
the favoured Minister. _Business done._--Supply. CHAPLIN votes against
the Government, refusing them Supply.
_Tuesday._--OLD MORALITY did great stroke of business to-day; completed
it in his usual innocent-looking fashion. When House met for morning
sitting large batch of votes to be dealt with; passed only two last
night; same proportion of advance would leave Departments in state of
pickle; money urgently needed; how to get it?
"You leave it to me," said OLD MORALITY, nodding mysteriously to
JACKSON.
JACKSON left it accordingly. When House met to-day secret out. Members
thought they were coming down for a morning sitting; might talk away
about Votes till Seven o'clock, let one or two pass, then go off for
Easter Holidays. Found OLD MORALITY had put spoke in their wheel. In
first place on Orders appeared Notice of Motion giving precedence to
Government business at evening sitting, and again to-morrow.
"What's this?" says SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE, starting as if viper had
bit him.
"What's which?" says OLD MORALITY, blandly.
"Why," says SAGE, "this Notice of Motion. Thought all arranged that
House at its rising at Seven o'clock adjourn for Easter Recess."
"Ah, yes," says OLD MORALITY, his eyes fixed dreamily on the broadening
parting of SAGE'S hair. "The feathered race, as we all know, with
pinions skims the air; not so the mackerel, and still less the bear. Ah,
who has seen the mailed lobster rise, clap her broad wings, and claim
the equal skies? As the Hon. Member says, it was arranged that we should
rise at seven, and adjourn for Easter Holidays; only we must get Votes
first. I am most anxious, as far as is compatible with duty to QUEEN and
Country, to meet views of Hon. Members in all parts of House. That view
converges, as I may say, on the holidays. Well, the holidays need not be
impinged upon. We can all be off at Seven o'Clock, or even before, if we
pass the Votes; otherwise must sit to-night and to-morrow. Do not expect
it will be necessary; merely put down Motion as matter of precaution."
Precaution served. Members not liking prospect of coming back after
dinner, still less of spending Wednesday at Westminster, voted money
with both hands, and by Six o'Clock Class I. in Civil Estimates agreed
to.
"A wonderful man, OLD MORALITY," said R. N. FOWLER, walking off. "Only
you and me, TOBY, thoroughly appreciate him. Yah, yah!" _Business
done._--Adjourned till Monday, April 14.
* * * * *
POLICE FUN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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